


The Long Way Home

by Revans_Mask



Series: Melanie Shepard [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Destroy Ending, Drama, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-04
Updated: 2013-09-18
Packaged: 2017-12-10 09:42:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 23,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/784626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Revans_Mask/pseuds/Revans_Mask
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The events of the Mass Effect trilogy featuring Paragon/Earthborn/War Hero Melanie Shepard. Organized as a series of variable length pieces, some internal reflections by Shepard, some covering or extending scenes not shown in the games, it focuses on her difficult road to a relationship with Liara.  The final chapters extend the story somewhat past the EC Destroy ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Interesting Assignment

This is a companion to a play-through of the trilogy I did that was built around two main ideas. The first was the psychological dynamics of a (mostly) Paragon Shepard that would prefer the Destroy ending. (I know some people feel that choice is a no-brainer but I’m not one of them. While Destroy is my favorite, I do feel that different versions of the character might take some of the others.)

The other was a variation on the Female Shepard/Liara relationship. I’ve been a big fan of Liara and especially that pairing ever since watching her slap around the Shadow Broker but while I love the regular three game romance, I got to thinking about a version of Shepard that would decide not to date her in ME1 and change her mind by ME3. As a result, while there is some smutty femslash goodness, it will take a while to get to most of it. (Chapter 19 in particular if you're curious) The relationship also suggested the title, which comes from a Norah Jones song.

Rather than a retelling the whole Mass Effect story, this is a series of pieces of varying length told from Melanie Shepard’s perspective, starting just before ME1 and ending with some post-ME3 ending stuff. Some are longer stories, some just drabbles. Those that take place during the events of the games are in keeping with cannon, many of the others are her reflections on those events. The rating is for some swearing, a bit of violence, and eventual sex while the major character deaths are taken from the game. As is customary to note, Bioware owns Mass Effect, not me, and praise, criticism and other feedback are always welcomed.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Before Eden Prime

Melanie Shepard knew that a lot of N7’s would have been annoyed, seeing this new assignment as a waste of time, but she wasn’t one of them. Though Eden Prime was a sleepy colony world, it was also supposed to beautiful, the kind of place that joining the Alliance military had given her the chance to see.

As a street kid back on Earth, she’d heard about places like that, places better than where she was, but she hadn’t given them much thought. Her life having been the way it was, she’d had to keep her eyes on what was in front of her or she’d likely have ended up hurt or worse.

When, at 14, she joined a gang, the 10th Street Reds, it had been more for security than because it appealed to her; she’d never really felt like she belonged. For a while, a life of petty theft and fighting had been all right, but shortly before her 18th birthday, she’d nearly killed someone.

A member of a rival gang had seen her kissing a girl he thought belonged to him and came at her with a knife. When the fight was over, his blade was an inch from his heart and he was on life support for a month. It was then that she decided to get out. It wasn’t the violence she was afraid of; she’d proven she could take care of herself, but gang life would’ve made her into someone she didn’t want to be.

The Alliance recruiting officer hadn’t initially been impressed with the skinny, dark-haired girl in front of him, but her scores on the aptitude tests changed his mind and her performance in basic training changed those of anyone else who doubted her. The tests even revealed a minor biotic talent: she could form barriers, although not much else.

If there was one constant in her life, it was that violence was something she was good at. Whether with a gun or hand-to-hand, she could out-shoot, out-fight, and out-maneuver soldiers much bigger and more experienced than she was. In combat, the doubts and hesitations that sometimes afflicted her personal life dropped away: there was nothing but her, the target, and the knowledge of what she had to do.

Though she’d joined the military largely because she lacked other alternatives to the streets, she found that she enjoyed the life it offered. Growing up, she never knew for sure who her friends were; people could turn on you in an instant if they thought there were a few credits in it. By contrast, the bonds of service and camaraderie among soldiers were reliable. These were people who’d have your back, and who’s allegiances you could count on even when the going got tough.

Her service had also allowed her to meet people she’d barely been able to imagine when she was growing up. As far as Melanie was concerned, that’s all aliens were: people. They may not have been human, but they lived, they worked, they fucked, they fought, and who the hell cared what they looked like? When she’d been younger, she’d been judged by those who looked at her and saw only street trash; screw anybody who viewed people the same way because they had blue skin or mandibles. Besides, her experiences with humanity didn’t encourage her to buy into that crap about how much better it was than other species. It’s not like she didn’t know plenty of good humans, but there were lots of bad ones too, just like every other species she’d met.

Shepard rose through the ranks quickly, especially after Elysium. She’d been on shore leave, doing a little rock climbing, when the attack hit. She’d rallied the survivors and held off a larger, better-equipped force for hours, killing many of them and saving most of the colonists, before Alliance reinforcements arrived to finish the raiders off. It was soon after that that she was invited into the N7 program, an invitation she was happy to accept.

After her training, she’d had a few postings, the most recent of them on the Normandy, a plum assignment considering it was the most advanced ship in the Alliance fleet. It was also a clear sign she’d been tracked for command. On Elysium, she’d shown she could rally even frightened people behind her and act independently in a crisis, abilities that were vital to someone who hoped to do more than just follow orders.

She suspected the ship’s current mission wasn’t entirely what it seemed; a turian Specter didn’t take a trip aboard a cutting edge Alliance ship unless something important was going on, but for now she kept her suspicions to herself. She hadn’t been on the Normandy that long, and growing up she’d learned not to say more than she needed to. She trusted that Captain Anderson knew what he was doing; she didn’t know him that well, but from what she’d heard, he was a soldier’s soldier, someone who did what was right and backed up the people under his command whatever the cost to himself. Until he filled her in though, there was nothing to do but wait; whatever the mission was, she’d find out soon enough.


	2. Exposed

After Citadel: Asari Consort

The first time Melanie Shepard had met the asari, she’d been fascinated. As a people, they seemed beautiful, strong, and mysterious; when she met the right one, her attraction could be powerful. She’d been with a few, huntresses and dancers that she’d met while on shore leave, but it had never been quite what she’d hoped for. The hook-ups had been thrilling at the time, but afterwards... The mental bonding during sex with an asari created the illusion of a deeper intimacy than was really there; it was wonderful to feel so connected, but after it was over, she was left with a disconcerting sense of vulnerability.

As a way of dealing with the stresses and dangers she faced, she’d cultivated a mental reserve that let her distance herself from the situations she was in and make clear choices. This was especially true in combat, but even elsewhere, she could keep her emotions from being too close to the surface. The joining stripped that away, and though it was freeing in the moment, afterwards, the fact that she didn’t have a deeper connection with her partners inevitably left her feeling off once the intensity of the moment passed.

Her encounter with Sha’ira had epitomized those experiences. As soon as Melanie met the Consort, she’d been drawn to her. Not only was she beautiful, but there was a grace to her and a sensual quality that was palpable during their brief conversations. Shepard had tried to tell herself she was helping Sha’ira because it would be useful to be owed a favor by such a well-connected person, but while that may have been true, if she was being honest with herself, it wasn’t the only reason.

After she’d convinced General Oraka to withdraw his accusations and went back to tell Sha’ira the good news, she wasn’t sure what would happen next. When she’d received the “gift of words,” Melanie had been a bit confused; whatever she’d expected as a reward, that certainly wasn’t it. When she’d awkwardly said as much, the asari had smiled, told her to close her eyes and relax, and pulled her close, the rich, intoxicating smell of her filling the commander’s senses.

The sex had been phenomenal; she could see why the Consort was in such demand. The skill with which Sha’ira’s tongue had worked between her legs, teasing it’s way up between Shepard’s thighs and then switched to her clit at just the moment she needed her to brought her off with incredible ease. They’d joined when Melanie had slid her hand between the asari’s thighs, allowing her to feel the pleasure she was giving her partner. As Shepard had gasped at the sudden addition of sensation, the Consort had reciprocated, her own nimble fingers slipping inside the human, skillfully finding all the right spots. They had climaxed together, their mutual pleasure flowing back and forth across the mental link and leaving Shepard breathless and tingling all over.

There’d been little time to enjoy the afterglow though. Sha’ira was gentle about it, but she made it clear that Shepard had to go, that she had other clients waiting. It’s not that Shepard had any illusions about what the Consort was or what their encounter meant, but the contrast between the intensity of the experience she’d just had and the abruptness of its ending left her feeling exposed and empty. It was similar to when she’d been with other asari, but the whiplash was worse this time. The sex had been better, the come-down faster, and it threw her. She couldn’t afford these distractions; her mission to expose Saren was too important. Stepping back out onto the Presidium with her team, she put her mask back in place; she’d be more careful about removing it in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rarely see this incident used in stories, which is a shame as it’s an interesting one.


	3. Interested

After Feros

She’d said “no.” When Liara had asked her if she was interested in being more than friends, Melanie had lied and said no. The truth, she admitted to herself as she sat in her darkened cabin, was that she’d had the scientist on her mind ever since she’d first seen her trapped in the stasis field on Therum a few weeks earlier. Those bright blue eyes, those curves, a voice that was soft and sweet and yet seductive at the same time; how could she not be interested?

And yet, she couldn’t go down that road again. After her encounter with Sha’ira, she’d been on edge for days. She’d felt like a fool and she took it out on those around her, snapping at her crew, blowing off C-Sec security, bickering with the Council. She needed to be at her best right now, and that included her diplomatic skills.

Of course, this wasn’t exactly the same situation. Nobody could mistake the shy, awkward archeologist for a professional seductress like the Consort. Liara was a recluse, someone who didn’t really like people. Why would she be interested in a human soldier she’d only just met? What she liked, what fascinated her, were the Protheans and thanks to her mishap back on Eden Prime, Melanie Shepard had become a living repository of Prothean data. She didn’t want to be a curiosity, just something to satisfy Liara’s scientific interest. No, for once Melanie was going to make the sensible choice and not get involved.


	4. Facing the Truth

After Virmire

Melanie Shepard had never liked politicians. To a street kid from the Seattle-Vancouver megalopolis, they’d been the self-satisfied fucks who patted themselves on the back for their compassion while doing precious little for the truly unfortunate. When she’d been an Alliance soldier, they were the interfering civilians who didn’t understand the realities of life on the front lines. And as a Specter, they were the ones who didn’t want to see the danger that Saren represented until it was almost too late. She’d come to dread those post-mission calls as, safely ensconced on the Citadel, the councilors second-guessed decisions they didn’t have the guts to make themselves.

Now though, they’d outdone themselves. Grounding her, taking away her ship, when she’d finally learned the location of the Conduit, all because they were afraid she’d start a war in the Terminus systems was too much. She understood the need to avoid unnecessary conflict, but this was as necessary as it got.

She thought back to something an old C.O. once told her after their ship had been pulled away from a patrol in a sector crawling with pirates to ferry some VIP nowhere especially dangerous. When she’d asked how the politicians could be so ignorant, he’d said, “Because the problem isn’t right in front of their faces, Lieutenant. They sit in a nice comfy office, and they can act like things aren’t what they really are. Out here, we don’t have that luxury. If you pretend there’s not an angry krogan in front of you, pretty soon half your head is blown off and that SOB is chewing on what’s left. Not a problem you worry about so much on fucking Arcturus Station, is it?”

She’d always liked that; it didn’t excuse the bad choices people made, but it did explain them. Given half a chance, they didn’t want to believe anything inconvenient, and the further you were from danger, the easier it was to get away with that kind of thinking. Even if there were consequences, they’d be paid by somebody else.

Too many people had already paid the highest possible price on this mission, most recently Lt. Williams. That had been an agonizing choice; she and Kaiden were both good soldiers, both friends, but the Major had been with the bomb, and she had to make sure that Saren didn’t stop it from going off. Ashley knew what it meant when Shepard had told her she was going for the Kaiden. She knew and she didn’t hesitate, or run, or do anything other than her duty. She told Shepard she had no regrets and she died fighting. And these politicians were going to waste her sacrifice because it was what, inconvenient? Because they might lose a few votes?

This time though, they wouldn’t be able to hide from the consequences of their decisions. This time those fucking idiots on the Council and that two-faced weasel Udina would be missing half their heads along with everybody else. A small, angry part of her would’ve relished seeing the looks on their faces when the Reapers arrived, but of course letting that happen wasn’t an option. There was far too much at stake to quit now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suspect Melanie isn't the only one trying to figure this out. Though I love the moral nuances of Mass Effect, there is something vaguely fascistic about it at times. Civilian politicians are useless pretty much no matter what choices you make, and the galaxy is saved by a military super(wo)man. Eh, at least it’s not as reactionary as Tolkein.


	5. A Chance

Ilos: Post-Vigil

The team walked away from the Prothean VI in silence. At first, neither Garrus nor Kaidan had any response to the staggering truth they’d just heard, but when they got to the elevator, the turian gave voice to what they were all thinking. “The Protheans failed. For all their advanced technology, they fell into the Reaper trap. Just like we did,” he added regretfully.  
Kaidan, though, offered a little optimism, “Not completely. They gave us a chance, if we can get there in time.” Melanie Shepard was quiet. She’d always admired the Protheans, even studied them a little; their technology, their role in shaping the galaxy had seemed so impressive. She could see what fascinated Liara, even if she was no archeologist like the asari.  
But it was all a lie, one the Reapers had encouraged to hide their existence. That didn’t mean though, that there was nothing to admire about the Protheans. With their race destroyed, the last of them had chosen to go to their Citadel, knowing that nothing but a lingering death awaited them even if they succeeded. They had given their lives in the hope that the next cycle would have a chance to defeat the Reapers. As the team boarded the Mako, Shepard silently vowed that their sacrifice would not go to waste.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shepard doesn’t say anything during this exchange, (Which, btw, background noise makes really hard to hear) so just a quick drabble of what Melanie is thinking.


	6. Unfinished

Mass Effect 2 Prologue

What had been another pointless sweep for Geth stragglers turned first alarming and then deadly so fast that the crew hardly knew what had happened. The unidentified vessel opened fire on the Normandy as though her stealth drive didn’t exist, crippling the ship before there was any real chance to return fire.

Melanie Shepard hadn’t even been on the bridge when it happened, her shift not scheduled to start for another hour. As their mysterious enemy continued to rain destruction on the ship’s battered hull, she leapt into action, desperately trying to get as many people as possible to the escape pods and beat back the fires that seemed to be erupting everywhere at once.

She had accounted for most of the crew when she was stopped by the voice of the ship’s resident scientist, Liara T’Soni, asking her if the Alliance would get there in time. Shepard cursed and said they damn well better, but she knew that even if they were nearby, they’d only be able to rescue survivors, not save the ship. Liara knew it too, but told her that Joker didn’t, that he wouldn’t abandon the Normandy. Shepard swore again and told Liara that she’d go get him while the asari got to a life pod.

Liara looked straight at her, concerned but not afraid, and said in that calm, soft voice of hers, “I’m not leaving you behind.” For a moment, Melanie hesitated. Over the months that they’d spent hunting for Saren, she’d come to value Liara highly. Beneath her shy, anti-social exterior, there was a lot to admire. On Noveria, her toughness facing down her mother and her compassion afterwards, advocating for the Rachni Queen, had made Melanie wonder if she’d made a mistake when she’d turned the archeologist down.  
Now, however, there wasn’t time for the past. She ordered Liara to go, told her that she needed her to make it out alive. As Liara complied and said goodbye, something in her voice made Shepard wonder if she thought that it would be forever.

She got to the cockpit, told Joker to not to die stupidly, and kicked his ass into gear. They had almost made it to the escape pod when their attacker struck again, the beam rending the ship around them, separating the commander and the pilot. Joker made it into the escape pod, but she didn’t, the force of the blast knocking her out of the reach of his outstretched arm. As she was propelled away from the wreckage of the Normandy, she realized that the attack had damaged the oxygen recycling system in her space suit, which was venting its vital contents into the vacuum. She tried her best to reattach them, fingers attempting to fit tubes into sockets that had been mangled too badly to receive them, but it was no use.

She was going to die. There was nothing she could do now; no way the Alliance would reach her in time. Though she didn’t want to die, she had never been afraid of it. She had seen death too many times, been too close to it, not to be prepared for the possibility. What weighed on her now was all that was left undone, the Reaper threat that the Council still wouldn’t take seriously and that someone else would have to stop now.

She did wish she had more time. There was so much in the galaxy that she still wanted to see, so much to… so many people she’d be leaving behind. As her oxygen began to run out, her mind drifted. The faces of her crew ran through her mind, but the one that fixed itself there was that of the asari scientist, her smile providing a final comfort to the dying Specter. Melanie’s last thought before the blackness swallowed her was to hope that Liara would be rescued in time.


	7. Going Among Bad People

After Freedom’s Progress

Well, she was really in it this time. It had been a surprise that she woke up at all, but to do so on a Cerberus base was the last thing she would have expected. Her first instinct had been to look for the earliest opportunity to get back the Alliance, but Freedom’s Progress made it clear that things were more complicated than that. The Collector threat was real, and the Council wasn’t doing anything about it. She couldn’t exactly be surprised. Hell, the politicians had blamed Sovereign’s attack on the Citadel on the Geth, so what were a few lost colonies to them? Cerberus was giving her a ship, a crew, and resources, and however much she disliked them, the war she left behind 2 years ago still had to be fought.

At the same time, Melanie Shepard couldn’t trust her new backers one bit. Cerberus was a terrorist organization run by a racist piece of crap and that meant that eventually she and they were going to come into conflict. In the short run, she wasn’t worried about a shot in the back. The Illusive Man hadn’t spent 4,000,000,000 credits to revive her just so her could kill her off a week later, but she had to be prepared.

Whatever her complaints about Alliance policy, she’d never expected a betrayal the way she did now. In a way, it was like being back on the streets; there she’d had allies, but friends were a different matter. In the military, on the first Normandy, she’d been able to let her guard down a bit, and going back to the mindset of her childhood, unable to count on the people around her, left her feeling cold.

She wished her old squad was with her but when she discussed it with the Illusive Man, he had an excuse for each of them. Tali, who she’d seen on Freedom’s Progress, was caught up in an assignment for the Migrant Fleet. Wrex had left the crew before the Collector attack anyway, and was back on Tuchanka; she just hoped he was doing some good there. Kaidan was on a classified assignment for the Alliance, leaving little chance he could join a Cerberus mission. Garrus was just missing; maybe if she got the chance, she could look for him, but it was a big galaxy.

She asked about Liara last, unwilling to reveal to the Illusive Man that that was the question that mattered most to her. His answer, though, left her confused, claiming that the young asari was working for the Shadow Broker on Illium. She could hardly believe that the idealistic archeologist she knew would have taken a job like that. Melanie hoped Liara hadn’t changed that much, but she wasn’t currently in a position to check on it.

Right now, she was on her own, surrounded by Cerberus personnel and tech; she’d have to find a way to change the equation before the Illusive Man showed his hand. Of the people already in her crew, Jacob seemed a promising candidate to win away from Cerberus. He was ex-military, and he had an idealistic streak. That didn’t explain why he was working for a terrorist organization, but she could try to find out. Miranda, by contrast, seemed like a company woman, ruthless and distant. Of course, it’s hard to tell how much of that is for show. Melanie knew all about facades, but even if that was the case, she’d have to be very careful if she was going to get behind Miranda’s.

Joker she was confidant she could count on. Kelly Chambers however seemed so pleasant and harmless that it made her suspicious. She had little doubt that the yeoman would fall into her bed if she asked, and though the thought was pleasant enough to a lonely soldier, she knew it wasn’t a good idea. As for the rest, she’d get to know them in time. For now though, she had to make sure her mask was firmly in place and that she didn’t give away too much. Sitting at the desk in her cabin, she flipped through the dossiers she’d been given. For now, she might as well play along with Miranda and go to Omega. Time to see what this Mordin Solus was all about, and then maybe who, or what, Archangel was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s interesting that TIM lies about Liara here. He knows she’s not with the Shadow Broker given that she was the one that recovered Shepard’s body from him and gave it to Cerberus. My thought is that he does it to keep you from looking for her immediately, but I’m curious what other people think.


	8. Nothing Changes

After Citadel: the Council

What had any of it been for? As she watched from the bridge of Normandy as the ship disengaged from the Citadel, Melanie Shepard was deeply frustrated. Everything that she’d done two years before seemed to be either futile or misunderstood. Perhaps the Council dug its own grave by ignoring her warnings about the Reapers until the attack on the Citadel, but there had been thousands of innocents on board the Destiny Ascension and Melanie would never have sacrificed them for the sins of a few politicians. She had told Admiral Hackett to focus on Sovereign because if it hadn’t been destroyed the whole galaxy would have burned. That had been her priority but nobody seemed to understand, painting her instead as some fucking human supremacist making a power play, a perception not helped by her new association with Cerberus.

Nor was her reputation her biggest worry. She’d made Anderson a Councilor because she knew that he understood the Reaper threat and the need to prepare for it, but he seemed to have no ability to control his colleagues. Two years ago the new Councilors had already started trying to blame the attack on the Citadel on the Geth, but now they’d begun denying that the Reapers even were real. They couldn’t even be bothered to meet with her, holding her responsible for the deaths of their predecessors, and though Anderson had returned her Specter status, without the Council’s support, she suspected it had little value.

The mess the Council had turned into might have been enough to make her regret picking Anderson for his position if her encounter with Udina hadn’t reminded her why he would have been so much worse. Working as the Councilor’s aide, he seemed irritated that she was even alive, only interested in the political fallout from her return. Anderson might not have been able to stop the Council from burying the truth; that abrasive asshole would have helped them do it.

The trip had shown Shepard that what the Illusive Man had told her was true; the time that she and the rest of her team had bought the galaxy, that the Destiny Ascension had been lost for, was being thrown away. That meant that, for now at least, it was on her and the new crew she’d been gathering to stop the Collectors. On that front at least, she had some hope. Getting Garrus back had been a welcome surprise: a badass friend was something she very much could use right now. Mordin Solus seemed promising as well; though he was a touch ruthless for her taste, he seemed to have good intentions, and was definitely not a Cerberus pawn. Zaeed Massani was another story; the mercenary seemed completely amoral and given what Cerberus had paid him, she seriously doubted she could count on him if it came to a confrontation. Her newest addition, Kasumi Goto, was difficult to read, at least on a first meeting. One thing at a time she supposed; next on her list of dossiers was the biotic convict, Jack. At least that one was supposed to be simple: just go to the Purgatory, make the payment, and go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, the Council. This is, I think, a situation where the game can make Shepard feel worse than she should. Regardless of your choice, they’re unhelpful, but the character might wonder things might have been different if they’d picked the other way at the end of ME1. Also, does anyone pick Udina? A paragon would hate him and a renegade wouldn’t take his crap.


	9. Drifting Apart

After Liara: Systems Hacking

She needed to get the hell off of Illium. Though she had still had to recruit the assassin Thane Krios, after her latest meeting with Liara Melanie Shepard decided that could wait for another time. For now, she needed some space from the events of the last few days, and she had to hope that physical distance would help lead to it’s emotional counterpart.

When the Illusive Man had sent her the new round of dossiers, she’d been secretly excited to see that two of them would take her to Illium. Ever since he’d told her that Liara was there, Melanie had wanted to go and see her, but her mission had taken priority. Now, though, she had a plethora of reasons for a visit, especially since Miranda’s endangered sister was also on the asari-run world.

When she had disembarked on Illium, the customs official had told her that Liara had taken care of her docking expenses and was looking forward to seeing her. Shepard felt a thrill of anticipation run down her spine at those words, even though she wasn’t sure exactly what she wanted or expected to happen. Before the Collector attack she’d started reconsidering her decision not to be with Liara, but two years had passed since then, even if she’d spent most of them unconscious, and a lot could have happened in that time. Despite the fact that she didn’t know what to expect from asari scientist when they met though, she had definitely missed her, and it lifted her spirits to hear that Liara felt the same way.

Their initial reunion seemed to validate her hopes. Though she’d been surprised when the asari threatened whoever was on the other end of her comm-link, the look of pure happiness in Liara’s eyes when she saw Melanie alive in front of her and the feel of her arms around her when she greeted the Specter with a hug made the time that had passed seem to melt away. Shepard had been relieved when Liara revealed that, rather than working for the Shadow Broker, she was trying to track him down and she’d been happy to help out, especially after the asari supplied her with useful leads on both of her potential recruits.

Afterwards, though, it had all gone wrong. She’d finished hacking the data terminals in between taking care of her other business only to find that Liara had had another assignment for her, this time unmasking an agent of the Broker. When she’d finally identified the information broker’s secretary, Nyxeris, as the spy, Melanie had hoped that Liara would agree to come with her. Instead, she had given Shepard a few thousand credits for her help and said that her work was too important to drop at that moment.

Melanie had been stunned. Since becoming a Specter, she had encountered plenty of people who thought that she should delay vital missions to help with whatever their problems were in exchange for credits. Sometimes she did; the money could be useful to buy supplies and weapons and the causes were often worthy, but she’d never imagined having those kind of dealings with Liara. Even if their personal history wasn’t enough to persuade the asari to rejoin her crew, Liara knew better than almost anyone what Shepard was up against, what the stakes were.

Hurt and angry, Melanie had snapped at her, accusing of Liara becoming obsessed with the hunt for the Shadow Broker. Her words seemed to wound her old teammate, and when she said that she didn’t want to lose Shepard as a friend, that she didn’t have enough of those, a part of her wanted apologize, put her arms around Liara, and pretend that everything was okay. It wasn’t though: despite her regrets, the scientist still wasn’t willing to forget the Broker, and all Melanie could do was wish her well and leave.

Of course, it had been a terrible stretch for old friends all around. Her reunion with Kaidan on Horizon had gone even worse than the one with Liara. A conversation that started with him describing her a “living legend” went straight downhill, terminating when he all but called her a traitor to the Alliance, refusing to listen to her explanation for why, for now, she had to work with Cerberus.

Even that was light-years better than Miranda’s confrontation with Niket. The man who’d helped her escape from her father died at the Cerberus operative’s hand in order to protect her sister’s location. Shepard had debated stopping her XO, but it was Miranda’s operation, her call, and she was the one who could best judge whether Niket could be trusted not to betray her again.

It was hard to believe, given how close she and her teammates had been, how close Miranda and Niket had been, that things could have turned so sour. She supposed that time apart changed people, and afterwards you didn’t always fit together the way you had before. Certainly she was far different than the girl who’d grown up on the streets; when she’d met that idiot Finch from her old gang two years before, he had seemed more alien than a turian.

Liara too had changed. The shy woman that she had met on Therum hardly seemed like the type to threaten to flay people with her mind or to obsess over defeating some black market information dealer. Friends or not, things just weren’t the same anymore. Liara had a new life now, one that Shepard wasn’t a part of, and that wounded her more deeply than she wanted it to. She needed a diversion; perhaps Kasumi’s party heist would do the trick. The thief had even suggested it might not involve any shooting, though after the “simple” pick-up of Jack, Melanie found herself skeptical that anything was going to be as easy as it looked.


	10. Equilibrium

After Samara: The Ardat-Yakshi

Though Samara had cautioned her about underestimating Morinth, Melanie Shepard still hadn’t been entirely prepared for what she’d just experienced. She’d tried to heed the older asari’s warning, but hearing about the power of the Ardat-Yakshi and feeling it for herself had proven to be two very different things. 

They’d tracked Morinth to the VIP room at Afterlife, and after beating up some turian thieves and getting the bartender to give away a round of drinks, Melanie had gotten her attention. Even as they slipped into the leather seats in a darkened corner of the club, her magnetism was palpable. There was something in the rich, sultry tones of her voice that made you want to agree with her no matter what your rational mind thought of the sentiments she was expressing.

While they were still in public, it was easier for Melanie to control her feelings. She lacked the exhibitionist streak she suspected her seducer/quarry possessed, and if she felt herself slipping, she could switch her attention to the crowd, the music, something to take her mind off of the enchantment the Ardat-Yakshi was weaving. Once they were back at Morinth’s apartment though…

Melanie knew almost nothing about interior design, but something about the penthouse, elegant but sparse, decorated with symbols of violence, seemed to reflect the personality of its occupant. At first, she’d tried stalling for time while Samara caught up with them, examining the glittering dueling blades mounted on the wall, but she sensed Morinth would grow suspicious if she put her off too long. She was supposed to be enraptured by her hostess, a condition that it was becoming dangerously easy to fake. As Shepard slid next to Morinth on the couch, it was not hard to guess what had happened to her victims. 

“We’re so much alike,” she purred to Melanie, evoking their shared love of adventure and danger, the undertones in her voice hinting at how much more exciting it would be to seek those things out together.  
Partly to remind herself of who the asari was and partly to throw her off of her game Shepard added, “We’re both killers.”

For the first time, Morinth seemed rattled. “Why would you say that?” she hissed. The commander could feel the full force of her powers drawing her in, trying to subsume her will. It was as if the Ardat-Yakshi had weaponized the fascination that their species had over others, honed it to a terrifying edge that sliced through your mental defenses, plunging straight to your innermost desires. Without words, her eyes conveyed an unmistakable promise: “Just give me what I need, and everything you could ever want will be yours tonight. All your doubts, all your insecurities, I’ll take them away.” Even knowing what Morinth was, the urge to give in was incredibly powerful.

She didn’t. She was Commander Shepard, and she was stronger than that. Tearing her eyes away from Morinth’s gaze, she said harshly “You screwed up.” In that moment, Morinth guessed the game, but it was too late. Samara burst into the apartment, and the battle was joined. As the justicar and her daughter wrestled with their biotics, Morinth made a last attempt to get to Melanie, pledging to join her mission if she helped her kill Samara, but the spell had been broken. Shepard grabbed her wrist, disrupting her biotic field and giving her mother the time she needed to finish her off.

When it was over, Samara was devastated, but even while Shepard was consoling her, a part of her felt cleansed. She had always been drawn to asari, but especially since her encounter with the Consort, a part of her had feared that fascination. Their mental abilities stripped her bare, made her feel vulnerable, and that was something she couldn’t afford to be. Tonight though, she had faced down the perfect predator among them, someone who had spent 400 years honing her ability to subvert the wills of others and kept her mind her own. Her reactions were more under her control than she’d admitted to herself and perhaps that meant she could stop being so afraid of them.


	11. Focus

Before the Suicide Mission

There are things left undone, a couple of squad members whose concerns she still hasn’t seen to, shields that could use an upgrade, but she’s out of time. The Collectors have her people and she’s going to get them back. Miranda accused Melanie of making the decision to go through the Omega 4 Relay now emotionally, but she’s survived too many life or death situations to leap into this one without thinking. Sure there are risks, but she has to weigh them against not just the lives of the crew members that were taken, but also the colonists that will continue to be abducted if she waits.

She’s told Joker to set course for the relay and as she sits alone in her cabin, Shepard remembers what the Illusive Man told her, that her team and their focus had to be strong if they were going to survive. For the most part, her squad seems ready, but what about their leader? Does she have unfinished business? She doesn’t have enemies that haunt her like Garrus or Samara; they only adversaries that really matter to her are the Reapers. Nor does she have family problems like Miranda or Jacob; she’d have to have a family first.

Personal troubles like Kasumi’s though; that’s a more complicated subject. Certainly, she’d made a mess of things with Samara. She hadn’t been sure what kind of relationship either of them was looking for, but she’d been certain there was a mutual attraction, and since facing down Morinth, Melanie had felt more comfortable exploring it further. In the end though, she’d pushed too hard and ended up feeling like an asshole. If she’d thought Samara wasn’t interested, she would have backed off sooner, but the justicar had admitted that attraction wasn’t the problem.

Melanie had admired Samara’s self-discipline but she’d underestimated just how deeply it ran. Centuries of denial had become too ingrained a habit for her to move past. Shepard sympathized; the tragedies that the asari had endured would have broken a weaker person and there are bound to be scars. At the same time, she seems like a cautionary tale, especially given how much Melanie can identify with her emotional reserve. She doesn’t want to end up like that, unable to be close to anyone, living as nothing but an extension of her duty.

Since her disappointment with Samara, Shepard had found her thoughts turning more often towards Liara. After their fight on Illium, she’d tried to put the beautiful scientist behind her, but she’d never been totally successful, especially recently. Her reasons for turning her down two years ago made sense to her at the time, but since then, she’d been second-guessing herself, something she seldom did. As a Specter, she rarely brooded on the choices that she made, but when it came to personal matters, it wasn’t as easy. Her regret was aggravated by the fact that now, it seemed too late to reconsider. It was clear Doctor T’Soni had moved on, and she should too, but something about Liara keeps pulling her thoughts back, even when logic tells her to let go.

In spite of that, she’s not worried about her focus once they jump through the relay. One thing that always distinguished her military career was her ability to separate herself from whatever problems there were in her life and simply focus on the mission she was carrying out, at least while she was in combat. It’s like there’s only her, her weapon, and the next target. And she has her target. The Collectors took thousands of colonists, took her people, hell, they even killed her once and now, it’s time to end it. Afterwards, perhaps, there’ll be time for other things; time to bring Liara the Cerberus intel on the Shadow Broker, time to try to sort out her feelings. Now, she has a job to do and no room for regrets.


	12. Wrong

After Lair of the Shadow Broker

She’d been wrong, embarrassingly, hilariously wrong about pretty much everything having to do with Liara T’Soni, and as she sat on her bed, her eyes still fixed on the door that the archeologist had just left through, Melanie Shepard’s mind was cataloging all the times she’d realized that in the last few days.

The first had been when she’d returned to Illium to deliver the intelligence on the Shadow Broker that she’d gotten from the Illusive Man. Her decision to destroy the Collector Base had served as a pretty definitive resignation from Cerberus and, despite what had passed between them, she wanted to spend a bit of the limited free time she now had helping Liara to finally put this obsession with the Broker to rest.

After she gave the data to the asari, what she had revealed stunned Melanie: that it had been Liara who had given her body to the Lazarus Project, that she had crossed the Shadow Broker to do it, and that the Broker was working with the Collectors. Melanie had believed that Liara had stopped caring about her and that she had lost her focus on the real threats, and instead it turned out that everything she’d done had been to save Shepard, to defeat an ally of the Reapers, and to avenge Feron, the person who’d helped her do it. She knew why Liara had hesitated to tell her this before, that she’d been guilty over what Cerberus might have done with Shepard’s body and afraid of how Melanie would react when she found out, but she still wished she had known sooner.

The feeling that she’d misjudged Liara’s emotions deepened after Shepard had arrived at her apartment to find the information broker missing. While looking for clues as to where the asari might have gone after the assassination attempt, she’d been surprised by the things she found there. The picture of the Normandy SR1 by Liara’s bed, the painting of Ilos on the wall, the piece of Shepard’s old chest plate, all of it told Melanie that she wasn’t the only one that had had trouble moving on.

Those thoughts and more were racing through her mind as she and her team, along with Vasir, approached the Baria Frontiers office. She’d been trying to figure out what to say to Liara, how to apologize for her harsh words weeks earlier but before she could come to any decision, the building they were driving towards exploded. Her imagined words caught in her throat; she couldn’t believe Liara could be dead, especially not when there was so much left unsaid.

Shepard was always cool in battle, but as she’d fought her way through the wreckage of the building, she felt like ice. Putting bullets between the eyes of the Shadow Broker’s mercenaries focused her attention away from the knot in her gut and allowed her to keep moving without imagining worst-case scenarios. It was only when Liara reappeared that the tension within the Specter released and she could allow herself the luxury of thinking beyond the moment.

In the battles that had followed while tracking down Vasir and on the huge ship orbiting Hagalaz, Melanie had been deeply impressed at how formidable the archeologist had become, never more so than when they’d confronted the Shadow Broker. The yahg had been arrogant and dismissive of them, thinking that he knew all of their secrets, but when Liara revealed that she knew his as well, she broke his composure, shortly before she broke the skylight and brought down the lightning that vaporized him.

Afterwards, when Shepard put her arms around Liara to reassure her that her quest was finally over, she started to suspect. The way her heart-rate rose when Liara’s body pressed up against hers, the swell of emotion when she felt Liara’s breath and tears warm against her face, warned Melanie that the barriers she’d tried to put up around her relationship with the asari were starting to break down but it wasn’t until that evening, when Liara came back with her to the Normandy, that she knew for sure.

Since she’d returned from the Collector Base, Melanie had been telling herself that she was okay. Objectively, the mission had gone much better than she had any right to have expected, the crew rescued and the base destroyed with only two casualties: the geth that EDI had dubbed “Legion” and the assassin Thane Krios. She had gotten out cheaply given that this was supposed to be a suicide run, but with Liara, she could admit that it still hurt, that victory had cost more than she wanted it to. Once, she would have been scared by how easily Liara was able to slip past her mask and get to the pain underneath, but not anymore. Now, Melanie welcomed how at ease she felt around her, and that’s when she knew. She had been wrong two years ago when she rejected Liara, and when the new Shadow Broker got up to leave, their evening sadly over, a part of Shepard just wanted to grab her, to pull her close, kiss her, and plead with her to stay.

It wasn’t the right time though. She still has a mission to do for Hackett, rescuing Amanda Kenson, and Liara has to get her new base of operations back up and running. Afterwards, when Melanie gets back, there’ll be a little time for them before the galaxy intervenes again, or at least that’s what she tells herself. She knew then that she loved Liara T’Soni and despite all the times she’s been wrong, she hopes that maybe, there’s still a chance to make things right.


	13. Arrival and Departures

After Arrival

It was good Melanie Shepard hadn’t had any illusions that defeating the Reapers was going to be easy, because otherwise Bahak would have come as a cruel surprise. Even knowing what she knew, it had been brutal. Sacrificing 300,000 people to stop the Reapers would have been hard. Doing it to kill a Reaper would have been terrible. Having to do it just to slow them down was horrifying.

It had also complicated matters with the Alliance. She’d hoped that completing that mission for Admiral Hackett would repair some of the damage working for Cerberus had done to her reputation and help her to persuade them to take the Reaper threat seriously. Instead, the Admiral had made it clear that, although he thought she’d done the right thing, she had also created a shit-storm of epic proportions. If the files Liara had obtained as the new Shadow Broker were correct, Alliance intelligence had wanted to detain her even before the destruction of the Alpha Relay. Now, who the fuck knew how long she’d be out of commission?

Even considering that, she had to go back to Earth. The Reapers were already in Batarian space, and they’d be everywhere else some time in the next few months depending on how fast their FTL drives were. She had to make the Alliance listen, no matter what it took.

As she looked out on her assembled squad-mates, she marveled at how far they’d come since the start of this mission. While there were some exceptions –there was little love lost between her and the psychopathic Zaeed Massani –they’d become, if not as close as her original team, a real crew, people she’d trust to have her back in any situation, which just made what she had to say harder.

“By now, you all know what I did at Bahak and why I did it. Unfortunately, now I have to turn myself in to the Alliance. Not because they say so, but because I need to try to convince them to prepare for the Reapers. We don’t have a lot of time before they get here, and that’s why I need all of you to do something for me. I need you to leave.”

She could hear the murmurs of discontent from the crew, both from her old comrades and from others like Jack that she might not have expected to mind leaving her. Still, she had to finish what she came to say. “I’m probably going to be out of action for a while, and somebody needs to tell the rest of the galaxy to get its collective ass in gear. Whatever you can do to prepare, whatever resources you can mobilize, you have to do it, and you can’t if you’re locked up with me. What happened with the relay was my choice and my responsibility, but I can face the fallout from it a whole hell of a lot better if I know you’re out here, not sitting in an Alliance holding facility.”

In the end they all yielded to her arguments or at least obeyed her orders, and a day or so later, the Normandy had docked at Illium and the crew was disembarking for points varied. One by one, they came to say their goodbyes.

“We never did get to that goddamn refinery.”

“We ran out of time.”

“You made time for every other idiotic problem every other goddamn jackass on this ship had.”

“Well, you did get paid.”

“Fuck you, fuck Cerberus, and fuck their money.” 

“Where to, Jacob?”

“Not sure. Maybe try to get a little R&R. This has been one hell of a mission.” 

“That it has. Take care of yourself.”

“I don’t like this, Shepard. Imagine what kind of trouble you’ll get into without me to watch your back.”

“That may be true, but the galaxy needs the Turian fleet to be ready more than I need your stray shots pointing out Geth I need to kill.”

“Stray shots?”

“You may hit one or two occasionally.”

“Goodbye Mordin. You going to get back in touch with the Special Tasks Group? I could use their help.”

“Of course. Have already sent letter; will be picked up soon. Good luck. Am proud to have been part of illustrious Shepard biography.”

“Mine? What about the forthcoming Mordin Solus blockbuster you mentioned?”

“Felt I should make contribution to your story too. Help improve sales.”

“Shepard.”

“Grunt. Going back to Tuchanka?”

“Yep.”

“Tell Wrex I said ‘hi’ and to kill a few Reapers for me.”

“Sure thing.”

“So Jack, where to? We did blow up your old home, not that you’d have been looking to go back.”

“No clue. But I feel like I’m in a better place now, and that’s got to help.”

“Try not to get into too much trouble.”

“No promises.”

“When we started out, I thought the Illusive Man made a mistake giving you command of this mission, but I was the one making the mistake. I should never have trusted him as blindly as I did.”

“I’m glad you came on around on that point. Thanks for not trying to shoot me in the back when he told you to.”

“It was the least I could do considering your help with my sister. Anyway, I’d better get to work figuring out how he plans on dealing with my ‘liberal interpretation of security protocols.’”

“He did seem a touch annoyed.”

“Shepard, I, I don’t want to leave again. You saved me from exile, but this is my home now. Vas Normandy, remember?”

“I know Tali, but you have to go. We may need the Quarian Flotilla and you’re my only chance of making those idiots on the Admiralty Board see reason.”

“I’ll make you proud.”

“I know you will.”

“It has been my privilege to serve with you.”

“Mine too Samara. I’m sorry about some of the things I said; making you uncomfortable was never what I wanted.”

“Do not apologize. In many ways, I wish it could have been otherwise. You are a remarkable woman, and someone else will be fortunate to be with you.”

“Be well Samara.”

“And you also Shepard.”

“Goodbye Kelly. Keep safe.”

“I am safe now. I can never thank you enough for what you did.”

“No need. You were part of my crew.”

“I wasn’t sure if you’d snuck off the ship.”

“No, just wanted to stick around long enough to see where everyone else was going. Thanks again for helping me get back Keiji’s greybox.”

“No worries. Just make sure to keep it safe.”

“Hey, I wouldn’t be the galaxy’s best thief if I let somebody else steal back my scores.”

“And you are that. As you are fond of reminding me.”

“Hey, if you’re the best, there’s no need to be humble. You should remember that, Shep.”

When they were all gone, when it was just her, Joker, EDI, and a few others, she turned to the galaxy map. She had already sent a message to Liara telling her what had happened, just in the new Shadow Broker didn’t already know. What she really wanted to say to the beautiful asari needed to be said in person, and depending on how that conversation went, she might find it a lot harder to turn herself in afterwards. Taking a deep breath, she ordered Joker to lay in a course for Earth and whatever consequences awaited her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the terrible chapter title pun; it just called to me. I really enjoyed writing this chapter both because it's a scene I always imagined happened but that the timing of the games didn't allow us to see and because writing snippets of dialogue for the whole gang is a good time.


	14. Killing Time

Before Mass Effect 3

To say that the last six months had been frustrating barely began to describe the way Melanie Shepard was feeling. She’d turned herself in to the Alliance in the hope that she could persuade them to finally take the Reapers seriously, but for all the good it had done, she should have stayed in space. It wasn’t that she’d been mistreated: she had a soft bed to sleep in, better food than she’d gotten used to, and absolutely nothing useful to do. After the de-briefs and the laughable good cop/bad cop attempts to find out if she was still with Cerberus, they’d just left her hanging. She suspected the Alliance didn’t want to put her on trial for doing what was right, but they also didn’t want to admit why she’d been correct to destroy the Alpha Relay.

The Alliance’s indecision left her with a lot of time to kill. She did have visitors; soldiers who stopped in to meet the legend, or maybe the lunatic, would often stick around to play cards or just talk. She enjoyed that sort of camaraderie and it was something that had been largely absent during her time with Cerberus. Of particular note was a Lt. Vega, a bit of a meathead, but seemingly also an excellent solider, and capable of getting a laugh out of her, which wasn’t easy in her current frame of mind.

Mostly, though, she was alone. It was hard not to spend her time fixating on the imminent Reaper invasion. After the Battle of the Citadel, after Bahak, she had some hint of how bad this war might get, but to stay sane, she tried to keep her mind on other things. She read, she watched vids, she played the 36 different versions of solitaire loaded on the terminal in her rooms, and she remembered.  
She recalled the good times and the bad in her life: the girls she’d been with, her N7 training, the Blitz. She reminisced about the places she’d seen, both beautiful and terrible, that she could hardly have dreamed of as a street kid. She thought about her squad, and wondered what they were doing now, if they were having any more success than she was in getting the galaxy to prepare.

Most of all, she thought of Liara. Samara was beautiful and powerful, but she hadn’t been what Melanie wanted, not deep down. She’d never entirely stopped thinking about Liara, and right now, all she could do was regret the opportunity she’d missed to be with her and remember all the reasons she wanted that now. She thought about the soft, comforting sound of her voice, and the way that steel that could suddenly enter it. The loyalty that she’d shown, recovering Melanie’s body, saving her when everyone else had given her up for dead. The way the red dress she’d worn the last time Shepard had seen her flowed over her soft curves. She considered a hundred ways to say she was sorry for having said no, to ask Liara for another chance, but those conversations had never come naturally to Melanie and nothing she could think of felt right. Maybe when she got out, if they could just have some time together, in the moment, perhaps the words would come to her.

Reality however intruded on the pleasant delusion that there would be time for such things. When James came to her door she suspected and when she saw Anderson again she knew. The Reapers were here, and the same people who’d refused to believe that they were coming now needed her to be Commander Shepard again.


	15. Regrets and Temptations

After Priority: The Citadel II

She almost didn’t take Kaidan back into her crew. On Horizon and Mars, she’d been furious at his accusations, but when he’d nearly been killed by Dr. Eva, Melanie had found it hard to hold on to that anger. During her visits with him in Huerta Memorial, she really thought that their relationship had been re-built, that Kaidan trusted her again. The Cerberus coup on the Citadel shattered that illusion. The two human Specters had ended up facing off at gunpoint as she tried to convince her former crewmate that it was not her but Councilor Udina that was the traitor. It wasn’t the first time something like that had happened with a member of her team: her stand-off with Urdnot Wrex had apparently become a STG legend. This time had been different though; Wrex had been trying to save his people while Kaiden just hadn’t been willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Despite the fact that she’d ultimately talked him down, she’d come seconds away from having to gun down someone she’d once considered a friend and after a moment like that, it was hard to imagine Kaidan rejoining the Normandy. She’d only considered it because he’d said all the right things afterwards: that he was angry with himself for distrusting her, that he promised he’d never do it again, that he come back to the crew.

Even that might not have been enough if Shepard hadn’t also been worried for him. He’d been made a Specter, but he couldn’t really operate as one, on his own, unless he had faith in the choices he made. Time and again, whether accusing Saren, taking the Normandy to Ilos, working with Cerberus, or curing the Genophage, she’d had to trust that she knew what she was doing even if not everyone else agreed. She’d made mistakes, sure, but they never took away her confidence the way that Kaiden had lost his. He’d recover it in time, but until then, he’d be better off in her crew. Anyway, it would be good to have him back in the fight with her; whatever had happened, he was still a skilled soldier, and maybe in time, a friend again.

It was the strain of that day that caused her to do something that, if she’d thought about it, she would have realized was a bad idea. She’d always found Samantha Traynor to be adorable, and based on some of the things Sam had said, she suspected that the communications officer had a more-than-professional interest in her. Normally, those would be good reasons to spend time with her, but given her feelings about Liara, Shepard didn’t want this to go anywhere. After the day’s events though, she just needed the distraction of relaxing with an attractive woman.

When Sam got up to her cabin, Melanie realized relaxing wasn’t going to be the right word to describe her evening. The specialist’s first comments were on the size and luxuriousness of the commander’s shower, and while she felt it would be rude to deny her a chance to use it, Melanie could already feel her mind going to an inappropriate place. As she heard the soft sound of Samantha’s clothes hitting the bathroom floor, Shepard tried not to picture what was being revealed a few feet away and when she heard her start talking about having a date, or maybe more, with someone special, it was pretty clear that Melanie could do more than just imagine if she wanted to.

It’s not like she wasn’t tempted. It had been too long since she’d been with anyone, not since Sha’ira three years ago, and her body could badly use a release from the tension of the war. Specialist Traynor was cute, smart, and feisty; the kind of girl she liked. A part of her wanted to throw off her uniform, get into the shower, and fuck Sam until the communications specialist’s knees buckled.

But there was Liara. When Shepard had heard Admiral Hackett say the archeologist’s name when he sent her to Mars, when she saw Liara standing in front of her after killing those Cerberus troopers, Melanie had dared to believe that, in spite of the Reaper invasion, the chance that she’d feared had passed wasn’t lost. Since then, she wasn’t certain what was happening between them, the weight of the war making it hard to think about anything else, but sometimes, it seemed so close to possible. The night that Liara had told her about her “beacon” project, the things the scientist said about her, the way they just sat together afterwards in the darkness of her cabin, Melanie couldn’t help but feel there was still hope and she wasn’t willing to give up on it.

To let Samantha save face, Shepard pretended that she didn’t take her meaning about the date, lost a couple of games of chess to be nice, and told her good night. After Sam left though, Shepard was still a little wound up, having trouble taking her mind off of what she’d just passed up. In the hopes of getting a distraction from her distraction, she told Diana Allers to come up for the interview she’d been requesting, a seemingly sound strategy that backfired when the reporter made a pass at her as well. Diana was certainly pretty enough, although if it came to a choice, Melanie would definitely take Samantha to say nothing of Liara, so she politely declined and though Ms. Allers laughed it off as a misunderstanding, they both knew better. As the doors closed behind the reporter, Shepard found herself glad that she had that big shower, because after the night she’d just had, she needed a long cold one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know was a bit hard on Kaiden in this chapter, but I came away from that conversation on the Citadel going "He's a Specter? Really?" The Samantha Traynor and Diana Allers scenes taking place back to back was an accident, but I liked the way it worked out.


	16. Another Chance

After Kallini: Ardat-Yakshi Monastery

When the elevator reached the surface, Shepard saw that Falere was still heartbroken, angry that they couldn’t save Rila, but she couldn’t have guessed that Samara would turn out to be the more serious problem. The justicar looked at the flaming wreckage behind them and apologized softly. At first, Shepard was confused, but as the older asari drew her pistol, and said, “The Code is clear. An Ardat-Yakshi cannot live outside of a monastery,” she thought she knew what was happening.

When Samara raised her gun to her own temple though, Shepard was shocked to realize she was wrong, but not so surprised though that couldn’t react. Before Samara could pull the trigger, the Specter had her arm in a bind. The justicar protested, but seeing what her mother was willing to do reached Falere through her grief. When the Ardat-Yakshi pledged she would not leave the grounds of the monastery, Samara agreed that the Code was satisfied and promised that after the war was done, she would come back and see her daughter again.

On the shuttle, Samara remained very much on the commander’s mind. When they first met, she’d admired, been attracted to, not just to the justicar’s strength and beauty, but to her clarity of purpose. When Samara had rejected her despite their mutual interest however, Melanie had started wondering if the Justicar’s Code might not be too rigid. At the time she hadn’t been sure if that was just her own frustration talking, but now, with her romantic interest in the past, she knew she’d been right. Samara’s unbending devotion to its rules had cost her hundreds of years with her daughters, and today, it had almost claimed her life as well.

After returning to the Normandy, Shepard concluded that the crew needed a little shore leave. The war had taken its toll of late, especially with the deaths of Mordin and Kirrahe, and the list of requests on her terminal to meet up the next time they were on the Citadel confirmed her impression. None of her crew came out and said they needed the leave now, but she’d been in command long enough to read between the lines. Given that she had some business to take care of there anyway, she figured they might as well go.

It didn’t hurt that one of those requests was from Liara. They’ve never been as close as they are now, so achingly near to becoming more that every time they’re together, Melanie wants so much to just reach out to the asari, to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her. She hasn’t. She feels like she has no right, given that she’d been the one to reject Liara three years ago. And yet, what if Liara is waiting for her to make the first move for just that reason? She’s no good at this, and adding the end of the galaxy as they know it hasn’t made things any easier. Is that a reason to say something or a reason not to? She wishes she knew.

She finds the cause of her confusion standing on a patio near some of the weapons kiosks, looking out on some greenery that had escaped the recent battle with Cerberus. At first, she doesn’t say anything, just watching Liara enjoy the scenery, but after a minute, she comes over to stand next to her against the railing. Liara smiles when she sees her and Shepard makes a joke about not meeting someplace more exciting, because what they need right now is definitely more thrills.

Liara takes the quip seriously however, and tells Shepard that the garden reminds her of where she grew up on Thessia. Soon, they’re talking about Liara’s childhood, the scientist reminiscing about the woman Benezia was before she joined Saren. It’s nice to be reminded of more pleasant days in the midst of the war, and clearly Liara agrees, because she gives Melanie a wistful look and tells her how much wishes they could spend more time together like that, “Just… friends.”

There’s a pause, though, before she says “friends” that makes Shepard’s hope rise. She looks into the asari’s bright blue eyes, and a part of her is afraid, afraid of ruining her friendship with Liara, of looking like a fool, a part that wants to just let the moment go by. But there’s another part too, one that remembers all the regrets she’s had because three years ago she was scarred, that thinks of all the centuries that Samara wasted, and that doesn’t want that to be her, and that’s the part that wins.

“I think we’d be good together, Liara,” she says softly. “I…” Liara stutters in response, fumbling over her words the way she did when they first met, and the uncertainty in that breath scares Melanie more than a whole army of Reapers. She’s worried that she’s made a mistake and, nervously, she tries to reassure the scientist that there’s no pressure, even though Liara’s answer is all she can think about.

Liara stops her though, tells Shepard she can give her an answer now, and when Melanie hears her say “I like you a lot too, Shepard. And I’d… like that very much,” the only words she can find to reply are “I would, too,” but she doesn’t need to say more.

Their first kiss is brief and gentle and electric. She can tell that Liara is inexperienced, but it couldn’t matter less. Just the soft touch of her lips against Shepard’s thrills Melanie and when they come together, kissing more deeply the second time, she feels transported away from the war, the deaths, the burden of responsibility. In that moment, nothing else matters but the beautiful asari in her arms.

Shepard doesn’t know how long they stay that way, just kissing, and talking, and kissing some more. She wishes it could go on forever but of course it can’t. She still has a hundred things to do, and a war to win, so she gives Liara one last kiss and starts back towards her duty.

When Melanie gets to the elevator though, she’s overwhelmed. She uses her Specter authorization code to halt the car and lets the emotion built up inside her go. Tears are in her blue eyes remembering all the ways this almost didn’t happen. How, foolishly and out of fear, Melanie threw away her chance to be with Liara after Feros. Floating away from the wreckage of the Normandy after the Collector attack, oxygen leaking out of her suit, convinced that those were her final moments, when her thoughts had been of Liara. How angry she’d been when she left Illium for the first time, believing that the asari was lost to her forever, that she didn’t want to be a part of Melanie’s life anymore. The cold, empty feeling in her chest when she thought the bombing at Baria Frontiers might have killed Liara and the warm flush of relief when she heard her voice again. There were so many way she could’ve lost her, but she hadn’t. She had another chance, and now, she would hold on to Liara T’Soni no matter what.


	17. Idiocy is a Universal Trait

After Priority: Geth Dreadnought

The galaxy never seemed to stop coming up with new ways to infuriate Melanie Shepard. She’d gotten so accustomed to being screwed over by civilian politicians that the Quarian admirals taking a turn was almost a welcome change of pace. She couldn’t believe how stupid they’d been, attacking the Geth while the Reapers were destroying the rest of the galaxy. She knew how much getting back their homeworld meant to them, and that the war gave them cover from the Council’s ire over provoking the Geth, but this was just idiotic. If the Reapers won, the Quarians would burn along with everyone else.

If that wasn’t enough, Admiral Han’Gerrel decided to open fire on the dreadnought with her squad still on board. They almost killed her, killed Tali, their own admiral, almost killed Liara. That was too much for her and when they’d gotten back to the Normandy, she decked him, threw him off her ship, and the hell with the consequences.

Of course, compared with the Geth, the Quarians were practically saints. Whatever pressure they were under, how could they have gone over to the Reapers? They could have asked for help, tried to negotiate. The Quarians were right that everyone else was distracted, but anything, even dying, had to be better than becoming slaves of the Reapers. She’d said that to Saren on Virmire, and she still believed it. The Geth had made their choice, and now they’d have to live with whatever happened next.

What kept her anchored in this sea of madness was her crew, and especially Liara. They hadn’t slept together yet; as hard is it was for a human to believe it about someone her age, Liara hadn’t before, and so they were taking it slow. In the meantime, they’d been stealing whatever time they could, kissing in Liara’s office, in the mess, and wherever else they could be alone for a few moments.

She hadn’t felt this way since she was a teenager. Back then, with her first girlfriends, everything had seemed exhilarating but as she got older, she had never really thrown herself into a relationship. She told herself that she didn’t have the time, and really, she also lacked the emotional space. She’d had a fling or two in training, and some hook-ups while in the Alliance navy, the most recent of which had been her passionate but ultimately unsatisfying encounter with the Consort, but nothing like this. Finally being able to be honest with the woman she loves is incredibly freeing and it’s their times together, more than anything, that remind her what she’s fighting for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick interlude before the shit really hits the fan. BTW, did anyone with enough war assets ever wish their Shepard could just declare the Quarians and the Geth deserved each other and ignore them?


	18. Hope Fractures

After Priority: Thessia

One of the terrible things about this war was how fast even the moments of hope could transform into despair. In spite of Nyreen’s death, Melanie Shepard had been feeling relatively upbeat after the mission to retake Omega. Cerberus had been pushed out, General Petrovsky was feeding intelligence to the Alliance, and Aria, true to her world, was pouring sorely needed resources into the war effort. Hell, the Queen of Omega had even shown signs of a conscience, and if that wasn’t cause for optimism, nothing was.

And then came Thessia. As Kai Leng’s shuttle disappeared into the distance, Melanie could only stand there and watch as most beautiful world she’d ever seen burned. The clouds of smoke searing her nostrils, the pleas and screams of dying asari on the comm channels, the horrible whining sound the Reapers made as they killed, and nothing she could do about any of it. The last time she’d felt this helpless had been after Virmire, when the Council had grounded her, but then, she hadn’t been the one who failed and the Reapers had only been an approaching threat. Now they were here, destroying everything Melanie cared about, and she had just lost their best chance to stop them.

Back on the Normandy, they weren’t totally out of options. Samantha had tracked Kai Leng’s shuttle as far as Horizon, where there was supposed to be only a refugee camp called Sanctuary. A thin reed to be sure, but they were desperate. Desperate enough that she was considering resuming her search for the supposed Reaper-killer, Leviathan, even though everything she’d learned thus far made her doubt that it was the sort of ally she’d want. At this point, there wasn’t a lot of room to be picky.

All that she wanted to scream, to hit something, to vent the rage and frustration she was feeling but she couldn’t. As she walked the ship, she forced her mind to calm itself, pushing down the emotions she was feeling. The crew was in shock and Commander Shepard can’t afford to be weak, not when they need her.

And in that moment, no one needed her more than Liara. When she heard there was a disturbance in Javik’s quarters, Melanie rushed there to find her girlfriend cloaked in biotic rage, ready to smear the prothean all over the walls for blaming the fall of Thessia on the asari’s own mistakes. He wasn’t entirely wrong; Shepard had been appalled to find out that their government had concealed the beacon in the Temple of Athame until it was too late, but that wasn’t what Liara needed to hear right then.

Shepard calmed her down and got Javik to apologize, to tell Liara that the Protheans believed in the asari and that as long as one of them survives, there’s still hope. It seemed to reassure her, at least a little, but after the scientist left, when Shepard asked Javik if he really believed that, she could tell he didn’t, that he only pretended to because he knows the commander cares about Liara.

She followed the Shadow Broker back to her cabin and found her sitting on her bed arguing with EDI about her mother. The fact that Benezia had known about the beacon on Thessia and didn’t tell her about it compounded her pain, tainting the good memories she had of her mother before her indoctrination.

When Liara conceded EDI might have been right that Benezia was trying to protect her daughter, it didn’t make the asari feel better. Without her anger at Javik or her mother to cover it, her grief and guilt came pouring out of her, the information broker blaming herself as soft sobs wracked her body. “They’re dying by the millions! I told those people on Thessia we’d save them! How many asari died because I demanded their help?”

It broke Shepard’s heart to hear Liara like that. All she wanted in that moment was to join her on the bed, put her arms around her, and try to make her forget about all of this. She couldn’t. The war isn’t over and Liara has to believe that she can still make a difference. So Melanie told her that she didn’t do this, that she had tried to warn her people, that there are still asari that she can help. Unlike Javik, she believed everything she told her, but she still wished she had more to offer.

Liara’s strong. She doesn’t let her pain overwhelm her, but instead goes back to her terminal, tells Shepard that she needs time, and thanks her for her words. With a quick kiss to the back of the asari’s neck, Melanie leaves her to her work. As she tries to find something to keep herself busy, she silently resolves that next time, no matter what, she won’t fail again. For Liara’s sake, for sake of the galaxy, she can’t.


	19. Inside Your Mind

After Despoina: Leviathan

“I don’t want any tentacled creature inside your mind… except me.”

Liara laughed when she said it, but there was an undertone of anxiety in her voice. Melanie knew it had been frightening for Liara when she had to watch her girlfriend go down into the trench without her, and she does what she can to soothe the asari’s nerves.

“I’ll try my best,” she reassures, tenderly kissing her lovely blue forehead. “After all,” she added jokingly, “Leviathan isn’t nearly as pretty as you.”

“Well, I appreciate the effort. And Melanie,” Liara continued, her voice becoming softer, “I also appreciate your patience with me about… being inside your mind.”

“Don’t worry about it, Liara.” She brushed her lips lightly against the asari’s soft mouth, and even in that brief kiss, she could feel Liara’s ambivalence. Desire and hesitation were wrestling with each other, and when the moment ended, Melanie added affectionately, “You’re worth waiting for.”

Of course, as she left the room, Shepard was grappling with her own mixed emotions. Not on the subject of Liara: their growing closeness was immensely welcome to her, and she meant what she had just said: she was willing to take as long as was needed for Liara to be ready to make love. After all that she’d put the asari through, turning her down and then changing her mind, how could Shepard be the impatient one? Liara had waited two years for them to be together; Melanie would wait for this. Still, it was nice to know that joining was on Liara’s mind as well as hers, and the thought provided a small shield against the other worries currently bouncing around her head.

The Shadow Broker wasn’t the only one uneasy about having enlisted the help of the leviathans. Melanie had always lived by the idea that people made their own decisions and were responsible for the consequences. For that reason, forces that took that right, that responsibility, away were especially repellent to her. The Reapers with their indoctrination, or the Thorian with it’s spores, revolted her more than the standard array of mercenaries, slavers, and terrorists she had fought against.

She could still remember the moment on Feros when she’d had to watch Fai Dan take his own life rather than do the creature’s bidding and attack her team. The way that his hand had shaken as he raised the pistol had been troubling, but what had really gotten to her was the look on his face as the bullet entered his brain. It wasn’t fear or sadness, but rather relief, death providing the only escape he could find from the agony of servitude. It had been in the back of her mind when she told Saren she would sooner die than submit to the Reapers, and she believed it just as strongly now.

Given all of that, working with the Leviathans was distasteful to say the least. Not only had they inadvertently created the Reapers, but their own methods of mind control were just as bad as anything else she’d encountered, their victims turned into zombie-like automatons. These creatures were the tyrants who had once enslaved a galaxy and compared to that, working with Aria T’Loak or the rachni was nothing.

And yet, give the situation, there was a decided lack of good alternatives. After Thessia, after her failure to secure the Prothean VI, their need for allies had become increasingly desperate. Even if this lead on Horizon panned out and they recovered the information they needed to find the Catalyst, the leviathans’ assistance would be a major help in protecting the Crucible when it deployed. And if it didn’t, if the data was lost for the foreseeable future… Shepard hated to think about it, but if they were forced to start from scratch, then these additional forces might provide a slim hope of staving off total collapse long enough for something else to be found. All she can do is gamble that that help, and her choice to accept it, ends up coming at a price they can bare.


	20. Be With Me Now

Before Priority: Cerberus Headquarters

It was time. Once the attack on the Illusive Man’s base began, the Reapers would soon become aware of the Crucible and one way or another, the war would end. There was always more that could be done, but in her gut, Melanie Shepard knew they were as ready as they were going to be. Any additional resources she could gather now would only be off-set by the damage the Reapers would do while she was assembling them. Already, the turians had had to withdraw from Palaven to keep what ships they had left intact for the final push. The galaxy had burned while she had prepared this armada and now that the Crucible had been completed, it was time to make those sacrifices worthwhile.

Once she’d given their course heading to Joker, there was nothing to do but wait. In the dim light of her cabin, she sat silently examining her helmet; she thought it might have been damaged in their last battle, rescuing Jacob and the defecting Cerberus scientists. Melanie was glad the ex-Cerberus operative had found a little happiness with Dr. Cole; he had always seemed lonely to her.

Lost in thought, she didn’t notice the sound of the door opening until the person walking through it was almost in front her. She was unsurprised but certainly pleased to see that it was Liara T’Soni; there was no one Melanie would rather have take her mind off of the upcoming assault on Cronos Station.

After bantering about the helmet, Liara gets to the real purpose of her visit: she’s concerned about Shepard. The feeling is mutual; since the fall of Thessia, Liara’s hopes have been hanging by a thread and when Shepard asks her about it, the scientist admits she hopes the war ends while there’s enough of the galaxy left to save. Melanie sympathizes; even though she feels prepared, the coming battles are weighing heavy on her tonight.

Reassuring Shepard that the galaxy has the leader it needs, Liara joins her on the bed, entwining her gloved hand with Melanie’s tan one. For a few quiet moments, they just lie together, looking out at the stars going by and the asari jokes wistfully that they could lose themselves out there, finding some uncharted world where Melanie could be happy. Shepard kisses her cheek, and tells her, “Right now, there’s no place I’d rather be.”

“Neither would I,” Liara replies, leaning in for a tender kiss.

Liara’s blue eyes mirror the starlight as she says softly, “I never thought I’d be with you like this. It means a lot to me.” Melanie can hear happiness in her voice, but it’s mixed with old sadness, and she realizes how much her rejection of Liara must have hurt her. She wishes that she could go back, that she could’ve said “yes” from the beginning, but what they have is now.

“Then let’s make this night special.”

“That’s the plan,” the asari purrs and she kisses Melanie again, pulling her down onto the mattress. Her kisses have grown more confidant since they’ve been together, and as the asari’s tongue eagerly seeks out her own, Shepard senses not just affection but passion, hunger even.

“Are you sure?”

“I am. We have waited long enough and I cannot imagine wanting this to be with anyone else.”

Until now, Shepard had always held back slightly with Liara, trying not to show her just how much she wants her, not wanting to put pressure on her girlfriend, but now, she lets her passion come to the surface, pulling Liara tight against her. With her left hand, she strokes the scientist’s crest, the feeling of strong fingers along the ridges causing the asari to moan softly. Her skin feels slightly different than that of a human, smoother due to the absence of any hairs and with patterns of scales that create small variations in texture in some places.

As Shepard explores her girlfriend’s skin, Liara slips off her gloves before moving her hands to the commander’s body, her fingers running over the fabric of Melanie’s uniform. Looking into her the scientist’s bright blue eyes, Shepard can barely believe how much she feels. She’s dreamed of this moment for so long, and now that’s its here, she’s overcome.

“I love you, Liara T’Soni,” she breathes, and her heart thrills when she hears the scientist’s soft, seductive voice reply, “And I love you, Melanie Shepard” before planting a gentle kiss on her lips.

As their mouths separate, the commander begins to trace Liara’s breasts through her jacket, the unfamiliarity of the sensation eliciting a sharp reaction despite the lightness of her touch. The asari slides her hands underneath Shepard’s uniform, feeling her warmth, before pulling the shirt over her head, revealing Melanie’s tan skin and well-formed chest, still clad in a black bra. As Liara drinks in the beautiful sight of Shepard next to her, she barely notices the Specter’s hands skillfully unbuttoning her long coat, slipping it off to reveal a thin white tank-top that highlights her soft curves.

Liara begins drifting down Melanie’s body, admiring its texture, breathing in its earthy scent, planting small kisses everywhere she goes. When she gets to Shepard’s waist, the scientist unfastens her pants and slides them off the commander’s strong legs along with her socks, leaving her in only her plain black underwear before running her hands back up those same calves.

They spend the next few minutes just kissing and caressing each other, Shepard letting Liara get comfortable, before the young asari notes coyly, “I appear to be over-dressed.” Slipping loose from Shepard’s embrace, she gets to her feet, motioning for Melanie to stay on the bed.

In one fluid motion, she lifts her shirt over her head, baring pert breasts topped by dark blue nipples. Shepard is mesmerized as Liara moves on to her pants, unbuttoning them and sliding them over her hips, leaving them and her socks piled on the floor. Melanie feels the heat building between her legs; she’s seen more practiced strip-teases, but none that had aroused her more. When the scientist slips off her small, white panties, exposing every inch of her blue skin, it’s all the Specter can do not to leap off the bed and grab her, but for now she wants to let Liara set the pace. She didn’t have to wait long; the naked asari moves seductively back towards her, desire creating flickers of biotic energy that illuminate the darkened cabin.

“You are so beautiful, Liara,” Melanie breathes as her new lover eases into her arms. She shimmies beneath the asari, nuzzling her breasts, her tongue teasing her erect nipples. Liara arches her body, pressing herself into Shepard’s mouth, writhing with pleasure and wanting more.

Wriggling free, her hands unfasten the commander’s bra, slipping it over her shoulders while placing kisses all over the human’s tan skin. She copies what gave her pleasure, licking Shepard’s dark nipples, and is rewarded by a series of very enjoyable sighs.

“Please. More,” Liara whispers against Melanie’s body, and that’s all the encouragement Shepard needs, sliding off her own underwear and moving her leg in-between her partner’s thighs, feeling the asari’s wetness slick against her.

Rolling her onto her back, Shepard’s eyes hungrily study her lover’s naked skin, the pale blue of her thighs contrasting with the darker shades between them. Asari anatomy is similar to that of human women, but there are small differences apart from the obvious ones that previous encounters had shown her. Their nether lips are less prominent, similar to raised, delicate scales, their clitorises more easily visible, but the same basic sexual principles apply.

Liara’s skin is soft as Melanie slides her hand up her leg, softer still as the Specter’s fingers trace lightly around her opening. The archeologist draws in her breath in anticipation, releasing it with a sharp “Goddess!” when Melanie’s digits press against her bud. Shepard feels a throbbing between her legs at the sound, making her want everything now, but she forces herself to take her time, keeping her strokes slow, feeling the building arousal in Liara’s body.

She’s so wet when Melanie slips two fingers inside, and she just lets them rest there for a moment, enjoying the feel of her lover’s tight heat around her. Liara pushes her hips against her though, and Shepard obliges her desire, thrusting with her hand while her thumb resumes the pressure on the asari’s clitoris.

Liara’s breathing ragged, Melanie feels her thoughts reach out to her. They’ve joined before, during the hunt for Saren, but not like this, and Shepard wants it too, relaxing her mind as the asari’s eyes go dark and she whispers “Embrace eternity.”

“Shepard.” As everything else drops away, Melanie hears the asari’s voice in her mind, love and desire radiating from her.

“I’m here, love.”

“This is incredible. I can feel myself around your fingers.”

“God, Liara, you make me want you so badly.”

“Then let me help you with that.”

Her slim blue hand slides down the Specter’s stomach, the electric touch of her fingers on bare skin reflecting back to Liara, telling her where Shepard needs to be touched. Though she has never done this for anyone but herself, she feels when she’s found the right spot, her hand going to Shepard’s clit as the commander’s fingers start to move within her again.

Gasping with pleasure, Melanie pulls Liara to her, craving as much of the asari’s skin on her as she can get. Their bodies feel like they’re flowing together, the sensation of their hands on each other merging into a feedback loop of pleasure. Her lover’s fingers slide inside Shepard, stretching her wonderfully, and they moan together, their desire echoing through their bond.

“More, yes, so full, so close, need this, need you, love you, Liara, Shepard, yes…”

Some of the thoughts are Melanie’s, some her lover’s, but in that moment it hardly matters which is which. As her thumb slides firmly along the asari’s clit, the added pressure is too much, driving Liara over the edge and taking Shepard with her as she feels her lover’s pleasure, her inner walls contracting around her, her fingers curling within her. As they peak, the surge of their passion causes Liara’s biotics to flare, casting a pale light over lovers too enraptured to notice.

Their shared orgasm lasts for what seems like an eternity, the waves of their reflected pleasure only slowly ebbing. As the world returns, they just lie there, sated for the moment but not totally spent, gently caressing each other. Shepard looks at the beautiful creature in her bed, and for the life of her, she can’t remember why she ever didn’t want this. The mental link has receded but unlike with the other asari, its ending doesn’t leave her empty. She feels loved and whole, and she doesn’t want the night to be over yet.

From the sounds Liara makes as Shepard starts kissing her way down her stomach, she doesn’t want it to end either. Melanie’s in no hurry now, savoring every inch of Liara’s beautiful body, slowly making her way between her legs. She begins running her tongue along Liara’s inner things, stopping just short of her center and then switching to her other side, making the scientist gasp with frustrated desire. Shepard rewards the asari’s patience with a single swipe of her tongue over her engorged clitoris, but when she jumps, Melanie moves back out again, only gradually making her way back to Liara’s bud.

Melanie relishes the archeologist’s clean, warm taste, sweeter and wetter than a human’s, to say nothing of the way Liara writhes in response to her tongue, but when she feels the asari reach out with her mind, she stops her gently.

“Not yet. I want this to be just for you.”

Shepard had been surprised to learn that asari could orgasm without the joining, much to the amusement of the huntress she’d discovered it with.

“I thought the bond was way asari reproduced,” she’d asked.

“Sure. And you need to fuck a human male to have kids, right? So, is that the only way you can come?”

Liara relaxes, and Shepard resumes work with her tongue and then her fingers as well, slipping two of them inside her lover. Establishing a rhythm, she uses the other hand to caress Liara’s body, the co-ordination developed during a lifetime of combat being put to a more enjoyable use. The archeologist is still sensitive from her last orgasm, and as her back begins to arch, Shepard flutters her tongue over her clit, feeling her lover’s thighs clench around her short, black hair as she climaxes.

As Liara slowly comes down, Shepard crawls alongside her, and her partner wastes no time pulling her in for a kiss, not seeming to mind tasting herself on Melanie’s lips. Looking at Shepard with a happy smile, she asks mischievously, “Do I get a turn now?”

“How can I refuse an offer like that? But I want us to do it together.”

Liara doesn’t immediately realize what she has in mind, so Shepard directs her lover to turn around, the asari lying on top of Melanie with her head resting between her legs and Liara’s own spread legs in front of the Specter. 

“Let me get started first. I am a novice, after all.”

Shepard is all too happy to accede to her lover’s request; Liara’s second climax has left Melanie incredibly hot and she’s aching for the asari to touch her again. Liara starts by running a finger through the small patch of dark hair at the juncture of Shepard’s legs; asari don’t have any, and she seems to find it intriguing. “Once a scientist,” Shepard thinks with a laugh before Liara starts to make thinking difficult.

Her first strokes with her tongue are tentative, but she experiments, trial and error letting her find the spots that send shocks of pleasure through the human’s body. Shepard’s moans encourage her, and soon she seems more comfortable, her tongue moving over Melanie’s clit and dipping inside to taste her.

“Join with me now,” Shepard asks, her voice thick with arousal. The asari wastes no time complying, and as their connection is reestablished, Shepard marvels at how natural it already feels. Liara’s desire for her tongue on her, her feelings for Shepard, her love, all rush through Melanie and she reciprocates, telling the scientist without speech how much she means to her.

Her hands run over Liara’s cute butt, her tongue exploring her while the asari’s mouth goes back to Shepard’s core. The rhythm comes almost automatically to them, Shepard’s tongue darting inside Liara, her hand underneath her, rubbing her, the asari’s tongue on her center, all of the sensations merging together. An overwhelming sense of warmth and pleasure fills them, pushing their already aroused bodies towards another climax as their thoughts flow together.

“Please, more, goddess, your mouth, your tongue, yes, deeper…”

No sooner do they form their desires than they’re acknowledged, and when Liara takes Shepard’s clit in her mouth and sucks on it while Melanie slides her tongue as deeply as she can inside the asari, it sends them over the edge again, gripping each other tightly as their pleasure washes over them.

When they’ve come down a little, Liara crawls back up next to Melanie, nestling herself in the commander’s arms.

“Is it always like that?” Liara asks, still enfolded in bliss. 

Shepard smiles down at her, lightly stroking her crest, and answers, “No. That was… perfect.” 

The asari looks up and just whispers “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Shepard replies, and she means it with all her heart. Right now at least, that’s all that matters. The war, Cerberus, the Reapers, they’re all a galaxy away and there’s just her and the woman she’s wanted for so long, the woman she finally has.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. Writing sex scenes is hard. An acknowledgement here to RaeDMagdon's excellent Adventure Can Wait series which was an influence on this chapter.


	21. Don't Leave Me Behind

Before Priority: Earth II

Melanie Shepard lay in bed, enjoying the feel of the Liara T’Soni’s naked body resting on top of hers. With Cerberus headquarters destroyed and the Reapers having taken control of the Citadel, all of the allies she had so painstakingly gathered were preparing for the final assault on Earth. For days, the fleet had been massing, the largest anyone had ever seen, expect perhaps for the one that waited for them beyond the Sol Relay.  

Despite the press of events, they’ve made as much time for each other as they can and now, on the eve of battle, they had spent the night together. When she made love to Liara, Shepard couldn’t think of anything else. It had never been as good with anyone else as it was with her; the heat of her touches, the beauty of her body, the intensity of their bond, all of it made the world go away for a time. Now, though, it was over, and, as the afterglow slowly faded, Liara was asking her a difficult question.

“Melanie. Three years ago, when I wanted to be more than friends, you declined and I have never understood why. I thought then that perhaps you were not interested in me or in asari, but since that was not the case… I know it is not truly important, not with the fate of the galaxy in the balance, but I would like to know.” She leaves “In case I do not have another chance to ask,” unspoken, but both of them can feel it hanging in the air.

Shepard sighs deeply. She knew this would come up eventually, but she hadn’t figured out a response, and the first thing that comes to mind is to quietly admit, “I made a mistake.”

Liara is understandably confused, so Melanie tries again, but finds it hard to put into words what had seemed so sensible at the time. “It was all muddled up in my head back then. I didn’t know how I felt, what you wanted with me.”

Realizing that answer doesn’t suffice either, Shepard keeps going. “It was just, you were so fascinated by the Protheans. I thought maybe you saw me as this curiosity to study and that wasn’t what I wanted.”

Shepard’s hand strokes the folds of her lover’s crest, trying to take the edge off of Liara’s evident distress, to remind her that that’s what Melanie was worried about then, not what she feels now. “Shepard, I am sorry. I know I was interested in your visions, but that is not why…”

Shepard stops her with a gentle kiss. “I know that. It wasn’t your fault, it was mine. I was too guarded back then. Because of stuff that happened before, in my childhood, things with other asari, I didn’t trust you enough for this.”

“Are you referring to your encounter with Sha’ira?”

Shepard is surprised; that had happened before Liara joined the crew. “How did you know about her? Was it Tali? Garrus? Damn ship gossip…”

“No, it was not…” Liara blushes, stammering adorably. “When I was examining the Shadow Broker’s files on you…”

“He had that on video?!” Shepard is horrified at the thought of her lover having seen that moment, even if it was before they met.

“No, the Consort was careful enough that he did not have recording devices inside her chambers. He did however have agents noting the guests at her establishment, and he knew that you had been with her.”

“Okay, that’s not quite so bad.” Shepard exhales, shaking her head. “Yeah, the thing with Sha’ira was part of the problem. It was always hard for me to open up to people; the way I grew up, the military, it all encouraged me to keep things inside. Even with other soldiers, friends, sure, I’d joke around, but showing vulnerability was not encouraged. Especially for an N7 and a female N7 at that.”

“I’d been with a few asari, and joining with them was seductive. It created an intimacy that was so hard for me otherwise. The problem was they weren’t people that I loved or that really cared about me, and afterwards, I always ended up feeling exposed and hollow. I was scared of that happening again, especially because of how attracted I was to you. Now, though, I feel like an idiot for having passed this up before, for having hurt you. It’s real, and it’s so much better than what I felt with Sha’ira or anyone else.”

Liara turns and kisses the commander deeply, running her hand through the human’s dark hair. “It is all right, love. I know that you did not intend to hurt me.”

“But I did.”

“You were trying to stop Saren and prevent the Reapers from returning. I think that you were entitled to a few mistakes. Besides, it is in the past. We are together now.”

“We are,” Melanie agrees, the weight of Liara’s body against her reminding her of the truth of those words. “And you should know that after we make love, I don’t feel hollow at all, just warm and happy.”

The asari purrs, nestling herself deeply in Melanie’s arms until several minutes later, she breaks the silence again.

“Shepard, I need you to promise me something.”

“Anything, Liara. Anything.”

“This last mission. Do not leave me behind. Whatever happens, I want to be by your side.”

“Liara… I want that too. It’s just, I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“Shepard, when I thought that you had died, it broke me into pieces. You meant so much to me even then, and now that I have this, I cannot lose you again. I want to be with you, no matter the outcome.”

There are tears on the Specter’s face as she agrees. “All right my love. We’ll finish this together. But we’re going to win. I don’t want to let go of you either.”


	22. The Last Battle

During Priority: Earth II

Melanie Shepard had been in a hundred battles even before the Reaper invasion, and she’s certainly had moments that stand out. Destroying half a Geth army to get to Saren on the Citadel. Taking down the proto-Reaper on foot. Carving through the soldiers on Bahak alone. But she’s never felt as lethal as she does now. She’s always had the ability to concentrate in battle, to shut out all distractions and fight, but now, on Earth, her focus is total.

In the landing shuttle, looking down on the shattered remains of London, she was surprised by the effect they had on her. She had never really liked Earth. Her childhood was rarely pleasant, and the months she spent detained before the war did nothing to improve her opinion. And yet, it’s still her homeworld and seeing its wreckage fills her with a cold determination.

No more. No more burning worlds. No more people turned into abominations. No more Reapers. Whatever their twisted reasons for what they’ve done, they’ve caused more death than she can fathom, and now, it’s time to make an end of them.

The Reapers throw everything they have at her team; it barely slows her down. Cannibals, Husks, Marauders, Brutes, Ravagers, and even Banshees; it feels like they’re all moving in slow motion. No sooner does she see them than they’re burning, her incendiary rounds doing their work with lethal efficiency. Javik and Liara are deadly as well, their weapons and biotics taking a heavy toll on the Reapers, but it’s her in the lead, breaking the back of the enemy’s attacks.

All around them, the remainder of Hammer is being wiped out, but she and her squad keep advancing. When, at the trucks, the call comes in telling her that their allies are collapsing, that more enemies are advancing on their position, it’s not something to be afraid of, just a fact to be dealt with. She’s come too far and has too much to lose to fail now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick in-story chapter before the post-ending stuff starts. Adrenaline Rush + Ammo Power = Ass-kicking.


	23. Survival

Post-Mass Effect 3

Consciousness returned abruptly and painfully to Melanie Shepard. Her whole body was in agony: cracked ribs, a broken leg, blood loss, burns; the last time she’d been hurt this badly, they’d declared her dead. As she tried to get to her feet, something blocked her. A piece of debris, she saw, and then it all came rushing back: the Illusive Man, the Catalyst, her decision, and she realized that what was left of the Citadel had crashed down around her after she shot the power conduit. She had survived the explosion, but if she didn’t get free soon, it wouldn’t matter.

With what strength she had left, she pushed against the beam. In her weakened state, she could barely budge it, and as spikes of pain shot through her, she slumped down, her body demanding rest she can’t give it. Lying in the rubble, her every breath pained, her hopes surged when, in the distance, she heard voices she recognized as krogan.

“What a crap job.”

“No shit. Nothing alive down here. Why the fuck do we have to sift through all this junk anyway?”

“Shut up you useless Pyjaks! You’ll do it because otherwise I’ll cave your whining heads in!”

Wrex! Shepard would know the sound of his contempt anywhere and she’d never been happier to hear it. She tried to call to him, but all that came out was a harsh whisper, her throat parched and burned. Bracing herself against the rubble, she tried again to move it. Her cracked ribs screamed in protest as she strained but she could take pain and she couldn’t die down here, not with help so close, not when she had a last chance to get back to Liara.

She only lifted the girder a few inches, but that’s all she’d been trying for this time. As it crashed back down, the clanging of metal on metal resounded through the cavernous space. She collapsed, spent, but even as she did, she heard Wrex’s booming footsteps as he rushed through the debris towards her.

“Shepard!” he bellowed, pulling aside the girder. As she slid back into unconsciousness, she felt his short, strong arms lifting her out of the wreckage and heard his gruff voice growling on the com for a medic.  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________

She awoke in a familiar way; in a medical bed hearing the sound of Miranda Lawson’s voice. She felt considerably better than she had on the Citadel, her wounds tended to and her body pumped full of painkillers, but she was still far from well.

“Shepard? Can you hear me?” 

“Miranda? Where am I?” The commander’s voice was a pained rasp, her throat still raw.

“On an Alliance medical ship. You’ve been unconscious for about 10 days since Wrex found you.”

Shepard’s head was still fuzzy and though speech hurt, she had to know. “What happened?”

Miranda gave her a rare smile. “You did it. The Crucible worked. We won.”

“Liara? The Normandy?”

“They’re fine. They were a jump out when the Mass Relays were damaged, but we’ve been in contact on the QECs. They’ll be back as soon as the relays are working again, in a week or two probably. Everyone’s been working around the clock on it. In the meantime, you should get some more rest, Shepard. It’s a miracle you’re alive.” Miranda was not wrong, and the Specter could only nod, relieved, before slumping back onto her pillow.

She slept again, drifting in and out of wakefulness while the doctors and machines healed her. Her dreams were a jumble: memories of war, of Liara, of the final moments on the Citadel that no one else knew about. It was hard to process all of it, especially lying in a hospital bed, so she just tried to sleep. Now, with the war done, she had plenty of time.  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Word had spread quickly that Shepard was alive, but Miranda kept most of the prospective visitors away from her patient, admirals and politicians being firmly informed that Shepard was not able to speak with them. Reluctantly, and at Melanie’s insistence, she did make one exception however.

“Shepard,” the krogan chuckled when he walked into the room, “You look like crap.”

“Good to see you too, Wrex. Miranda said you never gave up on finding me.” Her voice, though still hoarse, had mostly recovered and she could speak with minimal discomfort.

“Heh. You always were one pretty tough human. The Primarch thought you were probably dead, but since when has a turian ever had an idea worth listening to?” 

“Well, thank god for krogan stubbornness. You came through when it counted, with the Reapers, and for me.”

“Hell, you’ve done plenty for us too. I shouldn’t stay too long; for a human female, your nursemaid is trouble.” As Melanie gave him the best offended look she could muster, he laughed and added, “Reminds me a little of you, Shepard.”  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________

A few days after Wrex’s visit, Miranda brought Shepard the news she’d been waiting for: the Normandy had returned. As soon as she heard, Melanie started extracting herself from the tubes and sheets keeping her in bed. She’d expected to have to argue with Miranda, but the former Cerberus operative surprised her by helping her to her feet instead.

“There’s a spare uniform in the dresser,” she said when Melanie had found her footing. “Let me give you some space to change.”

“Wait, Miranda. Before you go, I just wanted to say that that’s twice you’ve brought me back now. I owe you.”

“No, you don’t. You saved Oriana and you saved me too. If you hadn’t gotten me to leave Cerberus, it’s doubtful I would have lived long enough to repay the favor.”

“Well, I guess I’ll have to live more carefully from now on. Hopefully, neither of you will need any more saving.”

“The galaxy does seem to be a somewhat safer place now, thanks in large part to you. Try not to overstrain yourself in the next few days, but going forward, you should be fine; your recovery thus far has been quite impressive. Clearly the upgrades I put into you last time paid off.”

“Better than new. I guess Cerberus did get at least one thing right.”

“Of course, Shepard. You were my project after all.” Melanie laughed as her former XO left the room, pleased to feel her throat was back to normal.

Bending and stretching to get out of her hospital gown and into the uniform hurt, and as she walked to the shuttle bay, Shepard’s right leg throbbed every time she put weight on it. Miranda had supplied a cane in case she needed it, but she’d left it back in the room. Compared to what she’d been through already, the pain was nothing and she wanted to make this trip on her own terms. 

When she got to the hanger, she was pleasantly surprised to find Steve Cortez waiting to fly her back. “It’s the least I could do,” he told her as she climbed gingerly aboard the shuttle. “Besides,” he added with a laugh, “I should check on how much trouble James has gotten into while I’ve been gone.”

On the flight to the Normandy, Melanie’s thoughts went to her past reunions with Liara: on Illium, Mars, the Citadel, but none of them prepared her for this. The first two times, they hadn’t been together, and her battle to retake Omega from Cerberus didn’t end with her presumed dead. She could only speculate on what had gone through her lover’s mind since they’d been separated. She remembered the way her heart had almost stopped in the instant when she thought Harbinger’s blast might have killed Liara, and this must have been so much worse. She’d promised the scientist that they’d be together at the end and then she’d put her through this; she only hoped that Liara could forgive her.


	24. Reunion

When Shepard’s shuttle arrived at the docking bay, she found the entire crew gathered there waiting, but even as they cheered, saluted, or otherwise welcomed her back, she only had eyes for one of them. Walking towards her with tears running down her face, ragged but still lovely, was Liara T’Soni.

Normally, Shepard would never have let the emotion she felt at seeing her lover again show in public, but in that instant, such concerns fell away. Without saying a word, she rushed forward as best she could, and as their arms encircled each other and their lips met, the urgency in Liara’s kiss banished any anxiety Melanie had had about their reunion, sweeping it away in the bliss of the moment. As their embrace broke, she turned to her crew, but she could only manage a tired smile before taking Liara’s hand and walking with her to the elevator. Though she was grateful for their reception, right then she couldn’t find anything to say.

As the doors closed, they collapsed into each other’s arms again, the commander tenderly stroking her lover’s face. “Liara,” she breathed, her own tears now mirroring her partners, “I…”

“Later. Right now, no words. Just you.”

The asari’s voice was chocked with emotion, and as soon as they stumbled together into Shepard’s cabin, Melanie sensed Liara’s mind pressing desperately against hers. She assented without hesitation and as they fell on the bed together, the rest of the world disappeared and their thoughts and experiences of the past weeks rushed in.

Instead of the anger at being left behind Melanie had worried she might find, sadness and regret filled the memories that washed over her. Liara’s exultation and relief after the Reapers were destroyed turning first to uncertainty and than fear as the hours crawled by and no word came from Shepard. 

Her guilt and grief, lying on her bed sobbing, convinced that she had abandoned Melanie, that the Specter had died alone. Her heartbreak turning to joy when Hackett’s call came in, only moments before Shepard’s name was placed on the memorial wall. The weeks of waiting, of longing, of knowing that Melanie was alive, and yet not being quite able to believe it.

Even as she rode the emotional rollercoaster Liara had been on, Melanie sensed her lover seeing glimpses of her own ordeal: Harbinger’s attack, her injuries, the Citadel, Anderson, the Illusive Man, the Catalyst. She could tell that Liara didn’t understand much of the jumble she was seeing, but also that she could wait for answers, needing the reality of Shepard more than anything else.

“I’m still here, my love.” she sent through the bond.

“You almost… I left you when the Normandy was destroyed, and I swore I would never do that again.”

“It wasn’t your fault. You were too badly hurt.”

“I left you. I left you and then you were gone.”

"I came back. You didn’t lose me. Let me show you how much you didn’t lose me.”

“You are still in pain.”

“It doesn’t matter. I want this, want you.”

Their lovemaking was quick and needful, but gentle. Melanie let Liara take the lead, her own body still weak. When the archeologist stripped off Shepard’s clothes, she could see the fresh scars on her skin, but she barely noticed them, all of her attention focused on the woman she had missed so desperately.

She ran her hands tenderly over Melanie, their joining allowing her to find the spots that brought pleasure rather than pain. When Liara’s naked body slid down opposite hers, any discomfort the Specter felt was forgotten, lost in the sight, the scent of her beloved and the powerful love echoing through their minds. They came quickly, their heads between each other’s legs, both desperate for their shared release, reminding them that this was real.

Lying entwined afterwards, their emotion at their reunion finally receded enough that they could talk. “I meant what I said to you,” Liara whispered. “I am yours. I will always be yours.”

“And I meant it too.” Melanie brushed Liara’s cheek with her hand. ”You, being here with you again, it means everything to me.” 

  


They slept for a little while afterwards and when the commander stirred again, the first thing she saw was Liara, already awake but just lying next to her, watching her as she awakened. For a second, it’s hard to believe Liara’s really there, that this isn’t just a dream, but the soft sound of the asari asking, “How are you feeling, love?” made it solid.

“Somewhat better. They’ll fade, you know. The scars. Like last time.”

“And what of those up here?” Liara asked, stroking Melanie’s hair.

“They will too. A lot happened, and it make take a while to process, but I’ll be all right.”

“Some of what I saw in your mind… I didn’t understand.”

“It was pretty weird. I’ll explain all of it, but can it wait? There’s a lot to tell and I could really use some solid food.”

“Whenever you are ready. In the meantime, I am sure the mess will not mind sending something to eat up for the savior of the galaxy and her very fortunate girlfriend.”

“Savior of the galaxy? Is that what they’re calling me now?” 

“So I am told.”

“That may take some getting used to.”

They passed the time waiting for their food and eating with Liara filling Shepard in on the state of the crew. Most of them were well, but Liara was worried about Joker, the combination of the presumed death of his family and the loss of EDI having left him close to a break-down. When Shepard heard that, her lover could see the guilt in her eyes, and when she asked about it, the story of what had happened after they’d been separated on Earth began to pour out of the commander.

“I was in pretty bad shape when I made it through the beam. Anderson had too, but he’d ended up somewhere else. The place was a mess; bodies everywhere. They might have been making a Reaper up there, but we couldn’t tell.”

“We met up near some kind of console. Anderson got there first, but before he could use it, the Illusive Man found him. Those implants he’d gotten somehow let him control our bodies; neural induction maybe, I don’t know. He started ranting about taking the power of the Reapers for humanity, but the way he talked, it was pretty clear he was indoctrinated. I was trying to break free, maybe I could have, but I wasn’t sure, so I tried one last time to make him see what was happening to him. He denied it, made me shoot Anderson to show us his power.”

Shepard’s voice cracked as she remembered, and Liara placed her arms around her lover, fingers running through her black hair. “It was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done.”

“There was, though; I got through to him and, when he saw what he’d become, he shot himself. Just like Saren. Whatever else he’d done, he broke free at the end. I went to the control panel, opened the arms, and Anderson and I just sat together while the Crucible docked. He told me he was proud of me but he was hurt too badly. Slumped over and died, and not a damn thing I could do about it. One more friend…”

Liara held her close, letting her partner take as much time as she needed. “Nothing happened though and Hackett called, saying the Crucible wasn’t firing. I tried to get back to the control panel, but I didn’t know what to do and my body was giving out… And then something happened. The platform I was on lifted up, and I was in another part of the Citadel, the place where Wrex found me. There was… do you remember what the Leviathans told me about the intelligence they built?”

“You said that it created the Reapers.”

“It was there. It looked like a kid I couldn’t save on Earth, but it was the intelligence. It told me that it was the Catalyst, that using the Crucible had changed it, altered things so that we had to find another solution.”

“Solution to what?”

“It was like its creators; it thought that synthetics would always rise up against organics, would destroy them. It’s answer was to ‘preserve’ the advanced races as Reapers, and let other life take their place.”

“But that is insane.”

“That’s what I told it. It said I could use the Crucible to destroy the Reapers, but that there would be collateral damage…” 

“EDI,” Liara said softly.

Shepard nodded. “It was going to destroy her, as well as damage the relays, so I asked if there were other choices. It said I could use the Crucible to take control of the Reapers. I’d stop being human, replace the Catalyst as their central intelligence.”

Shepard felt a sharp intake of breath as Liara imagined that happening to her lover. “Becoming the slave master of the Reapers, that wasn’t a solution. Besides, that was the Illusive Man’s plan, the plan of the indoctrinated Protheans Vendetta told us about. Who knew what I’d be after that? I told it ‘no,’ and it said there was a third option, that I could sacrifice myself and my DNA could be used to merge organics and synthetics. I think that’s what it wanted me to do, but I couldn’t. This thing thought becoming a Reaper preserved a species and I had no idea what we’d become. I thought about all the twisted experiments we’ve seen done on people: by Dr. Saleon and Maelon, on Feros, Cerberus, all of them, and I knew I had no right to make that decision for everyone. Maybe someday, we’ll have more cybernetics, become different, but we have to make those choices ourselves.”

Liara kissed the Specter’s neck, reassuring her without words while she continued her story. “The intelligence was wrong. It thought synthetics would always kill organics but it was wrong. The Leviathans survived. The Protheans defeated the Zha’til; the Quarians beat the Geth. I wasn’t convinced conflict is inevitable. Legion, you never met him, but I think he had developed real empathy, that he cared about organics. And EDI was built from that crazed VI on Luna and from Reaper tech, but she still became our friend…”

Shepard’s eyes teared up as Liara comforted her. “You did the only thing that you could.”

“I had a choice. And so did the Reapers. The intelligence, it chose to murder all those species, all those trillions of people. There had to be a price for that. For the Protheans, for Thessia, for Palaven, for Earth. I think I did the right thing, but there was so much at stake, and a part of me worries that I just wanted to come back to you.”

Liara kissed her softly. “I know how much you love me, Melanie, but I also know you. You would do what the galaxy needed you to, no matter the price. I know that. I have always know that. Those other choices… I am sorry that EDI died but you could not have done those things.”

Shepard smiled tearfully at her lover. “Thank you, Liara. It means the world to hear you say that.” 

“It is the truth.”

They just held each other for a few moments after that, but Liara’s scientific curiosity still wanted the end of the story. “What happened after you decided?”

“Not much more to tell. There was a power conduit the intelligence had pointed out. I actually started feeling as a little stronger as I walked there; knowing what needed to be done, that it was almost over, it gave me a second wind. Anyway, I got there and opened fire on it with everything I had left. No need to conserve ammo,” she chuckled grimly. “I thought about everyone I’d lost, about you. And then it happened. I could feel the energy building around me, there was a flash of fire, and it went dark. The next thing I remember is waking up before Wrex pulled me out of the wreckage.”

She paused for a moment, letting the memories rest, before adding, “I’m done now Liara, I promise. I’m done making you wonder if I’m coming back.”

“I appreciate that, but the galaxy will still need you.”

“I know, and I’ll do what I can to help rebuild, but no more suicide missions.”

“That sounds eminently reasonable,” Liara smiled before leaning over for a tender kiss, their lips sealing the vow that Shepard had made.


	25. Home

Part 3

The moment was interrupted by the beeping of the intercom, eliciting a sigh of irritation from Shepard.

“Do we have to answer it?” she asked as Liara rose from the bed.

“It is probably your crew, annoyed that I have been monopolizing you.”

“I’m off-duty.”

“They are your friends.”

“Fine, go ahead.”

Enjoying the sight of Liara’s cute butt as she walked to the desk somewhat mitigated Melanie’s annoyance at the call, which turned out to be from Garrus. 

“Wasn’t sure what you two were up to,” he snarked, “But Tali and I were wondering if we could come catch up at some point.”

Liara glanced over at the commander, who nodded, and she replied, “Certainly. Let us have an hour.”

After the call ended, Shepard looked quizzically at her. “An hour?”

“We do need to shower.”

At first Shepard thought the asari wanted the time for two showers, but when her girlfriend slipped in behind her, the Specter suspected she had a different motivation in mind. Liara went slowly at first, helping the still-sore commander to wash while finding opportunities to let her hands linger in all the places she knew Melanie was sensitive.

The warmth of the water, the feel of Liara’s wet skin pressed against her, and the brush of the asari’s fingers over her body all combined wonderfully, the pain of memory and of her injuries melting away, replaced by far more pleasant sensations. At first, she simply felt soothed, but as Liara’s hands began to trace her breasts while she kissed the Specter’s neck, desire started to rise within in her.

As the archeologist dropped to her knees and begun licking and kissing her way up her thigh, Melanie did manage a mild protest on behalf of her injured leg, “Liara, I don’t mean to, ah, complain, but you are making it hard for me to stand.”

“Allow me to worry about that,” the information broker reassured her, and with a blue flash, Liara’s biotics enveloped Melanie in a soft cocoon, supporting the commander as her girlfriend’s tongue returned to her slick skin.

When Liara’s mouth closed around her clit, Melanie sighed happily, losing herself in the feeling, the biotics allowing her to focus on nothing but the pleasure her lover was giving her. Even as her tongue flicked across the Specter’s bud, Liara’s hands caressed her body, one of them stroking her hip while the other rested on her stomach, her touch both intimate and delightful.

Melanie came hard against her lover’s warm mouth, her climax leaving her blissfully drained as she collapsed into the biotic cushion. The asari rose, planting a tender kiss on Shepard’s lips before turning off the water. As the commander’s legs steadied themselves enough after her orgasm that she could make it back to her feet, she turned to Liara, offering to return the favor.

“Do not worry, you are still recovering and I wanted to do this for you. You have been through so much, and you deserve some pampering.”

“You deserve something too,” Shepard protested with a kiss.

“There will be plenty of time for that. Besides, I enjoyed it.”

“You are very, very good to me and I love you, Liara.”

“And I love you, Melanie. Now, we had better dry off and get dressed unless we want our friends to find us naked when they arrive.”

Liara donned some grey N7 sweats Melanie had lying around while the commander put on a spare uniform, managing to beat Garrus and Tali’s arrival by a few minutes. Shepard hugged both of them and as they all sat down around the table in her cabin, she noticed the absence of a tension that she had hardly considered before today. In the three years since they’d met, the possibility that they would all be dead soon had always hung over them, and now that it’s gone, there’s a lightness to their conversation.

Garrus caught her up on current events. The damage to the relays had left travel impossible for weeks, but though many of them were still not repaired, the planning for the peace had already begun. For a little while at least, their joint struggle and shared victory seemed to have prompted a spirit of cooperation among the disparate species. “Of course,” the turian qualified, “Not everyone is the recipient of such charitable sentiments.”

Tali sighed. “Keelah! The Salarians...” 

Garrus gave that sarcastic smile of his. “Their decision to sit this one out has not exactly made them a lot of friends. They’ve been trying out pretty much every excuse in the book, but they’re almost certain to forfeit their seat on the Council when it gets reconstituted. Probably the Quarians or the Krogan will replace them. Maybe both.”

“They deserve to lose it.” Shepard concurred. “The Delatross made her choice; she can’t complain about how it turned out. But we shouldn’t hold a grudge forever. Salarians died in this war too.”

“Mordin,” Garrus recalled.

“And Kirrahe,” Shepard added. “A lot of people from STG in the last battle as well.”

“That is true,” Liara said, but thinking of what they’d seen on Sur’kesh, she continued, half-jokingly, “However, we should warn them that if they try to uplift the Yahg, we will take it poorly. I would prefer not to end up like the first Shadow Broker.” 

Melanie laughed. “I don’t know; that last yahg wasn’t so bad. We did kick his ass pretty thoroughly.”

“I suppose that we did. It was impressive that you bested something that big in close combat.”

“Hey, you dropped the lightning on him.”

“Only after you got him into position.”

“Of course you start going on about one of the battles I wasn’t in,” Garrus complained, his voice filled with an overwrought tone of fake resentment.

Tali rubbed a suited hand over his leg, “You should be glad that you missed it. Mordin got a desk thrown on him.”

Soon after that, Kaidan dropped by as well and their talk ended up turning to the early missions they had all shared: the hunt for Saren and the Conduit. It’s Kaidan who said what many of them were thinking, “Who would have imagined back then that we’d think of those as the good old days?”

“The universe did throw a particularly impressive quantity of trouble at us,” Garrus observed. “When you have to start ordering the Reapers you’ve killed by difficulty, you probably annoyed somebody up there.”

“I think our days of Reaper killing are over.” Shepard’s tone was light but there was a sense of relief underlying her words that caused Liara to place an arm around her lover, pulling her close.

“It’s true, Shepard. All we have to do now is the easy stuff, like rebuilding a galaxy,” Garrus cracked back.

Eventually, the others left and Shepard told Liara that she wanted to check in with the rest of the crew while the information broker went back to her quarters to change and catch up on a little work. “The walk of shame,” the commander thought with a suppressed laugh as she watched her girlfriend head to the lift in her N7 sweats.

When she got off the elevator, Shepard found herself starring at the memorial wall. All the names there represented losses, but it’s to her dead squad-mates that she found her thoughts turning, especially Ashley Williams. Her death had been maybe the hardest of them all, especially since it had been the commander’s choice to leave her behind, but she was comforted that a good soldier like Ash would have appreciated the victory her sacrifice had helped to win. She wondered what became of the son that Thane had wanted to save and if Legion could have prevented the Geth from working with the Reapers. 

She remembered Mordin, and Zaeed, both dying trying to atone in different ways for the mistakes they’d made and she was sorry that she couldn’t have been there when EDI and Anderson’s names were added.

Though distracted, her trained ear still recognized the heavy sound of James’ footsteps. “Almost had you up there, Lola.”

“So I heard.”

“After the Citadel lit up like a Christmas tree, we were all worried, and when nobody heard anything from you, we didn’t know what else to think. Liara was going to do it. It was killing her, but I guess she thought she owed it to you. We were here for the ceremony when the call came in. Quite a smile on your girl’s face.”

They chatted for a bit, talking about the future. He’d decided to join the N7s, and she was happy for him. He was a good soldier, and even if he was a bit of pain in the ass, it was in a good-hearted way.

As she was leaving, he added “I almost forgot to thank you, Commander.”

“For saving the galaxy?” she asked, knowing that wouldn’t be the answer.

“Nah, everyone else can do that. Because I realized that me and everybody else who served on this ship will never have to buy our own drinks again.”

Javik was more somber with his gratitude. “Commander, I am in your debt. In my heart, I did not truly believe that I would see the day the Reapers were defeated. It was a privilege to be with you in the final battle.”

“I owed you that much. We may have won the war in this cycle, but without everything your people did: the beacons, disabling the Keeper signal, the plans for the Crucible, we never would have had a chance.”

“And finally, thanks to you, their ghosts can rest. What will you do now, Shepard? Will you and the asari remain joined?”

“Tactful as always, Javik. But yes, we will.”

“I imagine I will see you a good deal then, if Doctor T’Soni and I are to write our book.”

She found Joker in the cockpit as always, but there was a hollowness in his voice in place of his usual sarcastic demeanor. “Shepard. Glad you made it out alive.”

“You too, Jeff. And nice job saving the ship one more time. Liara said you had to do some pretty fancy flying when the Crucible fired.”

“Thanks, Commander. But I guess you heard not everyone made it.”

She nodded but she wasn’t sure quite what to tell Joker. It was her choice that had caused the AI’s death; she believed it was the right one, but he didn’t need to hear that right then. “It wasn’t what anyone wanted, what happened to EDI. It was like the relays…”

“She wasn’t just some piece of tech!” Jeff screamed back at her, “She was…”

“I know,” Melanie said softly, “She was my friend, and I’m sorry,” and there was nothing else she could say right then that would have helped. He had loved EDI, and she was gone, and neither of them could change that.

Samantha Traynor was upbeat, telling Shepard that though her time on the Normandy was the most important work she’d ever done, she was eager to get back to civilization, at least what was left of it. Melanie couldn’t help but tease her a bit, asking if that included real showers.

“It certainly does, Commander. Speaking of which, I have a bit of a confession to make. When I said I had a hot date lined up when I was using yours, I was hoping it would have been with you.”

“I hate to burst your bubble, but it wasn’t that hard to guess.”

“Well, then, thank you for not making a fool out of me.”

“Don’t think I wasn’t tempted to join you, but…”

“I get it. You love Liara. I’ll be fine; I just won’t get to tell everyone I bagged the great Commander Shepard.”

Melanie smiled at that. She really did like the adorable young ensign, but compared with how she felt about Liara, it was no contest. There’s no one that she’d ever cared for more, wanted more, or was more able to trust, and the thought that she could really spend her future with after everything they’d been through her was absolutely incredible.

The future. God, what an idea. For years, she would have said “the rest of my life,” with the implication being, “however long that is.” Now, she could imagine a tomorrow, a home, children someday, a life beyond the war; a life with Liara T’Soni.

She ate dinner with the crew, catching up with those she hadn’t seen yet, enjoying the easy camaraderie of soldiers who’d been through hell together and knew they’d come out on the other side. Afterwards, tired but happy, she made her way back up to her cabin to find Liara, undressed, waiting for her in bed.

“Not that I’m complaining but what happened to new clothes?”

“They are over there on the dresser, love, but it is late and I just want to hold you now.”

Shepard slipped out of her uniform and crawled under the sheets next to the woman she loved. It felt so right, her fatigue melting into Liara’s embrace, and Melanie knew that she was home at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's the end, although the short stories in the Home Life series are sequels of a sort, giving some snippets of life for our heroines now that the war is over. I hope you liked it, and if you were interested enough to stick with it for 23,000 or so words, please consider leaving feedback.


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